MAYrathon Day 22 - San Francisco Fog Soda

This one is definitely the oldest that I have in my fridge and probably the one I have the least to say about really. I bought this at the same time I tried the grass and dirt sodas which was probably about a year ago. I was going to do some type of Captain Planet elements theme soda marathon, but I got too lazy and threw this one in the back of the fridge for a rainy (or foggy) day. 

Like I said, I don't have a ton to say about this one. I've never been to San Francisco, but I know it's pretty foggy, so...truth in advertising I guess. This is another from Rocket Fizz, and true to their typical form, there's little information given. They did a good job of making the clearish liquid look foggy. It's like sprite but denser. The bottle has a picture of the famous bridge (Old Ben?) and at the bottom tells me to, "Drink Fog." Generic soda ingredients, but the only one that caught my eye is caramel color. That's used in sodas like Dr. Pepper to give it more of a brown texture. But this soda is borderline clear. I'm not sure why that was used. (Old Ben?)

As is typical with Rocket Fizz, it doesn't really say what the flavor is supposed to be, so I guess it's once again up to me to figure it out. Upon opening it and giving it a sniff, it smells like sweetened chemicals. At first, there's a nice scent like the stuff they used to make their marshmallow soda, but immediately after, I'm attacked with a whiff of metallic chemicals. I wonder if it's because it's expired? Oh well, ever onward! (sips). I think this IS the marshmallow soda but with some extra metal. It tastes like marshmallows on the front and the same metal taste on the back that the butter soda had. Weird. I'm gonna just dump this one out. It's almost summer, and I don't want to spend tomorrow vomiting fog particles all over.

MAYrathon 2.0 Day 14 - Melba's Fixins Coffee Cake Soda

Happy Mother's Day Everyone!

If there's one thing we can all agree on, it's that Lester of Lester's Fixins soda line is a maniac. Lester, working under the scrutiny of Rocket Fizz, has made such "memorable" flavors as Buffalo Wing, Sweet Corn, Coffee, Maple Syrup and the only soda to have ever made me throw up - Ranch Dressing. Lester has become an internet icon with all sorts of Youtubers trying and critiquing his weird concoctions. Check out this video to see what I mean:

But apparently the old miser Lester actually has a wife who is also in the soda creating business, Melba. But Melba is not out to destroy taste buds and souls like Lester, no, her mission is to take some of the most famous desserts and turn them into a bubbly, fizzy drink to be loved by all. I've come across Melba's drinks before, but this would be my first time trying one. With a tempting sounding lineup such as Key Lime Pie, Apple Pie, Birthday Cake and others, I was drawn to coffee cake as I've certainly never had a liquid for of one of my favorite pastries. 

The label is pretty generic and there are definitely no actual dessert ingredients except for sugar and caramel coloring. Like Lester's, the tagline: "Y'all Get Yer Fixins!" is affixed to the front of the label. The liquid inside appears to a light brown like the time I had a gingerbread soda. Upon opening the bottle and giving it a sniff, there is definitely an overwhelming scent of sweet dessert pastry. I don't know if I would say it's EXACTLY coffee cake, but it's pretty darn close. OK, down the hatch - Wow that's crazy! Again, I don't know if I'm tasting 100% coffee cake, but it's definitely a pastry or donuts flavored soda. There's sugar, icing, caramel and cake flavorings - it's delicious. Unlike dumb ass Lester, I will for sure be on the lookout for the rest of Melba's Fixins!  

MAYrathon 2.0 Day 11 - King Kong Cola

Son of a...this jerk again. Homeboy is trying to Single White Female me!

So today we have King Kong Cola. Why? I don't know, but I'm sure it has something to do with the new Skull Island movie coming out. It's a cool looking bottle and besides the photo and a brief mention of King Kong being a trademark, the bottle itself is otherwise pretty nondescript. It's from Rocket Fizz, and they make a few varieties of cola which I've never had, so I wonder if they're all just from the same batch with a fancy new sticker on it. There's little info online about this one. Even the Rocket Fizz website just shows a picture of the bottle and says, "Great Monster Flavor." That's it.

How to make RC Cola

There's a reason I pretty much never do cola reviews (even though I have another one lined up this month). Actually there's two reasons. 1. I'm not a huge cola fan. I like Coke Zero and Pepsi. I can tolerate Coke. I hate Diet Coke. RC Cola is Satan's fartbox. So whenever I am on the lookout for obscure sodas, cola ranks up there as being about as weird as rain in Seattle. 2. All colas have three distinct flavors. Coke. Pepsi. Not Coke or Pepsi. Seriously, every generic cola I've ever had, including Shaq Backsweat flavored RC Cola...sucks! I've never found one I like. But I admit the celebrity tie-in with ole' Konger was enough to intrigue me enough to pick it up and throw it into my cart. Let's see what we got.

As expected, it has a generic cola smell to it. It's unmistakable. Like every single not Coke or Pepsi I have ever tried. Let's hope the taste is at least tolerable...it's fine. Mild. Cola. Not as bad as RC, but definitely just a run-of-the-mill cola. I'd put it a step above generic grocery store cola, but not by much. I bet Jeff Bridges would like it.

MAYrathon 2.0 Day 7 - Butter!? Soda

Today marks my 100th review. It only took four years to get there...go me. 

My first ever review was Shaq Soda - which was discontinued before I finished the can. 

Awhile back, I did a review on Jelly Belly's Sour Cherry Soda and talked about how awesome it would be if they made a soda out of my favorite flavor - buttered popcorn. Well, until that happens, I've stumbled across possibly the next best thing: Butter Soda! I took a trip to my local Rocket Fizz this weekend and saw mostly the usual stuff until I came across the bright yellow bottle and knew it had to be mine. This is a pretty new product so there's very little online info about it. And honestly, this will likely be a pretty short review as a.) I've talked about Rocket Fizz multiple times and b.) everyone knows what butter is, so I don't really need to go over a backstory or anything like that. Just open your fridge, look on the door and go, "oh yea, that." So let's get right into the good stuff.

I can't believe it's Real Cane Sugar.

As I said, the glass bottle is clear, showing the neon yellow liquid. The bottle has a simple label that says Butter Soda, shows a typical stick of butter and proclaims to have real cane sugar. Nothing else to it really. Let's open the bottle up. And yep, it smells like butter. Unfortunately not like Jelly Belly Buttered Popcorn, but real, genuine butter. But does it taste like it???? Strangely yes. There's obviously sugar in it to make it a legit soda, but the flavor is so authentic that it actually feels like it's slimy butter rolling down your throat even though it's just liquid. It does such a good job simulating actual butter that I'm pretty blown away. Just for the novelty of it, I recommend this to everyone. Pour it in a glass and tell your douche neighbor that it's a lemonade and wait for the laughs and high fives to come aplenty. Now if they only made a roll soda, I could convert to a complete liquid diet.

MAYrathon 2.0 Day 6 - Pineapple Whip

Pineapple Whip Soda from the O-Zell Soda Company. This is another one I've had for a long time on the shelf, and there's no real cool backstory as to why I purchased it. I think the name, Pineapple Whip, caught my attention and made me wonder if it has more of a dessert taste than a traditional pineapple soda. And also the Disney-like Hawaiian character on the label seemed like a classic cartoon I enjoyed in my youth. Upon doing a little research into the company, I didn't realize how true that was!

O-Zell began in the early 1900s, financed by none other that Walt Disney's father, Elias Disney; which explains why the characters on the bottle look so Disney-esque. It                   

was his dream to produce, market and sell exotic, oriental sodas out of a factory in Chicago. Everyone, including Walt, helped out in the factory, but sadly the family ran out of money before any soda ever made it to the public market. And that was it. Until 2014 when a couple in Chicago decided to revive the company with various flavors and sell them in stores like Rocket Fizz. But what's even cooler than that is that proceeds from the sale go towards restoring Disney's 1901 home to its original condition and making it a historical landmark. http://www.thewaltdisneybirthplace.org/   So for once, I can say my terrible soda habit is for a good cause - take THAT Buddha.

So let's give it a taste - for Disney! The bottle proclaims to be all natural and is made with Hawaiian cane sugar which seems interesting. Other than that, it's the standard soda stuff. Let's crack it open. Very strong carbonation rushes to the top of the glass bottle, and the smell is certainly that of Pineapple. I've always enjoyed pineapple sodas, so this should be a good one. Let's find out...yea it's really tasty. I get where the "whip" part comes from. It's not like a Faygo or Fanta Pineapple, it has more of a carbonated pineapple jello taste. Not bad at all. I feel like I should end on a Whip It joke here, but it just seems like too low hanging fruit. Like pineapple. HA! 

Mexican Dessert Sodas

Happy day after Columbus Day everyone. After a day of rockin' out with Chris and thanking him for discovering this badass nation of ours, it's time to take some time to honor that other country that's not Canada that is also part of North America that was sorta, kinda discovered by Columbus. (Run-On Sentences are fun!). Yes, I'm talking about Mexico. Hola! One thing I hear the bosses say at work quite often is that the "demographics are changing." Which is a fancy way of saying, "hey, didn't there used to be more Irish people around here? And why is the guacamole sold out at every grocery store?" I, for one, embrace the Mexican culture, especially their cuisine. So why not drink some dessert sodas based on some of the most popular Mexican sweets? And why not die of a sugar overdose in my early 30s? This trio of triumph comes to us from....of course...Rocket Fizz, who last made me drink grass and dirt and cry for three days straight. Well let's check these bad boys out in the order of least to most excited to try.

#1 - Rosa's Arroz con Leche (Sweet Rice Soda)

It's not so much that I'm not excited as that I'm just not really familiar with Arroz con Leche. My Spanish isn't great and I assumed it meant whale milk cheese truffle with snail droppings, but I was pretty off. It's essentially a rice pudding with cinnamon. How can that be bad? In fact, all three of these sodas have cinnamon included in the flavoring. Is that the national dish of Mexico? Well all three bottles are brought to us by "Dos Amigos" which includes a picture of two definitely white guys pretending to look Mexican, and all all promise to have SABOR GRANDE! (great taste). Best not be lying to me Mexico! Nothing in the ingredients suggest anything natural has ever touched this bottle - no cinnamon, no rice, no hope. But let's open up the bottle and see what's inside, si? I'm surprised at how much it smells like rice. It's not overly sweet smelling - it's more like a plate of Uncle Ben's. Let's drink!.....I know it's not supposed to, but it tastes a lot like Jelly Belly Buttered Popcorn. Which, as you know, is my favorite jelly bean flavor. They could market it as that and make a million pesos or something. I dig this for what it should be more than for what it's supposed to be. I give this four out of five offensive sombrero dances. 

#2 - Jorge's Horchata (Horchata Soda)

I've had horchata once or twice and it's been pretty enjoyable. I'm not a huge milk fan overall, but a milky drink with rice, almonds and cinnamon is something I can respect. My Hispanic friends love horchata and it's pretty much the unofficial/official drink of Mexico. It's been awhile since I've had a glass, but my taste bud memory is pretty hardcore, so I think I know what I'm getting in to. Not surprisingly, it contains pretty much the exact same fake ingredients as the Sweet Rice soda, give or take some Yellow #5. Remember when we were kids and we believed the rumor that Yellow 5 in Mountain Dew would make our most important body parts shrink? Remember? The...the rumor? (wipes away a single tear) Anyway, let's give it a sniff. Well I was expecting more cinnamon once again, but it's overwhelmingly an almond scent. Maybe I haven't had this before? Only one way to find out (takes an el sip). The smell threw me off, but this does taste like how I remember. It's very bubbly yet smooth at the same time. There's some cream, cinnamon and rice for sure, but even though the smell was overpowering, I'm not TASTING almonds. Not bad overall though. 3.5 out of five offensive sombrero dances. 

#3 - Burros Churros (Churro Soda)

This is the one I'm most excited to try. One of my fondest memories when tagging along with a friend or family member with a Costco membership was grabbing a giant dollar churro at their cafeteria. It was just the right amount of cinnamon, sugar, butter and shame sweats. I have nothing more to say; I want to open it up and give it a taste. The smell is a little underwhelming. There's a little sugarness to it but not much. (glug glug) Oh man that's awesome. The butter is the dominant flavor and I mean that in a good way! It's like a churro from Costco, a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a stick of Country Crock while adding bubbles. I really like this and would seek it out again. 5/5 for sure! Thanks so much my Mexican friends, you're muy bien. Now to go take a siesta sugar coma death sleep. OLE!

Labor Day: Dirt and Grass Soda

What a great weekend. I had four days off. My best friend got married. And I got to catch up with a lot of old friends. I figured what better way to top off a great weekend then to indulge in some new sodas. And since it's Labor Day, why not really get down and dirty and pay respect to the hard work our ancestors put in to make this country great. Why not take the time to consume some good old American soil, and not in the figurative sense either. I have today two flavors of soda I have definitely never tried before - dirt and grass, from the always creative and masochistic folks at Rocket Fizz. When I first picked these up, I thought it was just going to be a clever title for some chocolate and sour apple soda, but I watched a few videos of other people trying them and nope..it's dirt and grass flavored soda. Why? Because there's idiots like me in the world who will pay money to drink something that tastes like the ground. So let's get to it.

Dirt Soda

Right underneath the label of Dirt Soda it says "Shoveled and Bottled in the USA." Creative. The background photo is just a picture of dirt and it also claims to have pure cane sugar. I don't know if adding sugar to dirt makes it better or worse. Luckily the ingredients are just the standard soda stuff and no actual dirt has been added to the concoction. I imagine this is just like how they make those Bean Boozled jelly beans or the Harry Potter ones from a few years back. The color is a cloudy brown like a backed up RV toilet. There wasn't a single review or video that I saw where someone actually liked this, so I know I'm in for a treat. I hope I become the one person in the world who enjoys drinking dirt. (ladies). I crack open the bottle and go in for a big sniff. There really is an authentic mud smell to it with a hint of copper as well. Alright, bottoms up, America. Well that's.........dirt. It is legitimately a sweet tasting bottle of dirt. The aftertaste is 100% essence of ground. This is terrible, but I have to give them credit for truth in advertising. Even with my iron stomach, two sips is the best I can do. The taste won't go away; hopefully some grass will make it better. 

Grass Soda

This ultra-bright green soda claims to be Mowed and Bottled in the USA. There's grass clippings all over the label and, like Dirt, advertises its Pure Cane Sugar. Both flavors are pretty much made up of the same "natural" and "artificial" ingredients, with the Grass Soda including some extra food dyes. It's really deceiving my eyes because on the outside, it looks like a delicious Jones Green Apple Soda. Bottle is opened and I'm going for a sniff. Alright this is ridiculous. It smells just like lawn clippings. I am immediately transported to childhood and riding with my dad on the lawnmower. Who thinks of this stuff? I don't know if I've ever tasted grass in real life, so I'm not sure how to compare it, but here goes nothing. (tentative gulp). This one is a bit sweeter, and it definitely has a grassy flavor to it, but it's a lot fresher tasting than the dirt. I don't actually hate this. The best thing I could come up with to compare it to would be a banana peel. Or cucumber rinds. There's something so familiar to it, but I can't quite put my green thumb on it. I think I actually kinda like it. I probably need psychiatric help. 

Combo

Alright, just for kicks, I'm going to combine the two in a glass and give it a shot. After all, you can't have grass without soil. AMERICA. Mixing them together creates a lighter brown color with much heavier carbonation that drinking either separate. The soil still dominates the old olfactory sense. Let's taste...The Grass actually subdues the overpowering Dirt taste but only slightly. It's still pretty terrible. Well, I can check Grass and Dirt off my bucket list. Oddly enough, I still have another drink based on a non-edible element that I'll be trying soon. Until then, my burps taste like muddy water. 

The 12 Days of POPmas Day 12: Candy Cane Train

  

So here I am doing my final day of the 12 days of POPmas on location at my parents' house on Christmas Eve. This room was my childhood playroom and there's still a ton of stuff in here from those younger years. I saved this particular soda for the end because it's a Christmas-themed pop and seemed appropriate for a Christmas Eve cocktail. This is Candy Cane Train. Which is a pretty odd name for a soda. That's like a chocolate soda called Chocolate Fountain Tractor. But obviously the picture shows a literal candy cane train, so I'll have to trust them on it. And to my delight I see there's a website posted right on the label, www.holidaysoda.com. I'm gonna give that a gander before trying this soda.

Fascinating...

Alright, well forget that then; I'm a little scared just how old this pop is seeing as their website is expired... Let's just jump right into drinking a carbonated candy cane shall we?

It smells faintly like a candy cane, but not much. It more or less just smells...old. Alright, last pop should be the best....right? (Takes a Santa sized sip). Eh...it's OK. I was expecting a little more of a peppermint BANG but it's more like a sugary red pop with the faintest of candy cane flavoring. It looks like the Candy Cane Train was a little light on its shipment this year. 2.5 out of 5 Santa Hats.

Alright! Made it though 13 different sodas in 12 days. Most of them were expired and most of them hurt my teeth and soul, but it was an adventure to say the least! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all my six readers!

The 12 Days of POPmas Day 10: Rocket Fizz Black Licorice and Green Apple Jalapeno

Today's a twofer. I decided to try my other two remaining Rocket Fizz sodas in one post for two reasons. One - I already talked about my history with Rocket Fizz and the bottles are pretty minimalistic, so I don't have a ton of new stuff to say except for just cracking the bottles open and trying them. And two - I wasn't sure which one I wanted to try more. So why not both?

First up is black licorice soda. I talked before about how the buttered popcorn jelly belly is perhaps the most polarizing flavor known to man, but now I think I may have to correct myself. Black licorice is definitely a flavor that everyone, whether negative or positive, has a strong opinion about, and I think there's more hate than love for this dark candy concoction. And truthfully, no one I know really has much experience with an actual black licorice; it's always the black jelly beans that are usually left for last or thrown to the seagulls. Even when it came to those sniffable markers (referencing a 12 year old Dane Cook reference here - I'm cool), the licorice one was always the one you gave to the smelly kid who was trying to color with thumb tacks. Personally, I don't mind the taste, and I'm interested to see how it transfers into a soda, so let's give it a shot! I open it up and there's that strong black licorice smell. Reminds me of childhood jellybeans and collegehood jagger bombs. Here goes nothing...I'm actually pretty happy with how mild the flavor is. It doesn't overpower the senses and it's overall pretty drinkable. More like a root beer with a hint of licorice on the back end. I'd give it a 4 out of 5 Santa Hats.

Next is Green Apple Jalapeno. It's just such a weird combination; I don't even really know what to say about it. Besides being green, there's really no relationship between these two foods at all. I've never had anything where they've been put together. I just really gotta try thing; no more yammering on! I open it up an WHOA it smells just like a jalapeno. Not getting any apple though. Let's give it a taste. It's so...weird. It's not at all spicy, but it tastes like a green apple jalapeno. It's like the took out everything that makes a jalapeno spicy, threw in some soda water and green apple Jolly Ranchers and tossed it all in a blender. This is up there with the Jerky soda as one of the most unique flavors I've ever tried, except that it's not God Awful like the jerky soda. This one get a 4.5 out of 5 Santa Hats. I'd revisit this one again!

So of course I did what any 32 year old adult with a Master's Degree would do and decided to pour them both into a glass just for shits and giggles. And...now my tummy hurts...

The 12 Days of POPmas Day 5: Marshmallow Soda

This next one, and probably a few others down the road comes from Rocket Fizz. This place is the mecca for soda pop nerds like myself. It's a chain store all over the country and they specialize in crazy and obscure sodas as well as making their own flavors. I first came across this place when I was in Nashville last year. I stocked up on a six pack of delicious oddities and was as happy as a pig in shit as I walked through the airport knowing I'd be back home in Illinois in just a few hours where I could taste my crazy concoctions..............And then I was stopped by TSA and told I couldn't bring liquid on the plane. I had to throw them all out. I even suggested she give them to someone as a gift to which she told me that's illegal and proceeded to send me on my way. I can imagine the talk she had with her fellow agents in the break room. "Tina busted a guy for drugs today and I stopped someone with a gun. What about you Terry?" "I stopped a fat kid from trying to smuggle some Buffalo Wing Soda in his backpack..." 

One year later, I learned of a Rocket Fizz store opening near Chicago and I stocked up! This is one of Rocket Fizz's original creations: Marshmallow. The bottle design is very minimalist and I don't have a ton to say about it really, so I'm just going to crack it open and give it a swig.  

Smells, looks and tastes just like a marshmallow. This one is truth in advertising, and I guess I don't have anything too funny or exciting to say about it really. It's called marshmallow and it tastes like marshmallow. 3.5 out of 5 Santa hats. Of all the sodas I've tried so far this week, this one is the most...meh. 

Rocket Fizz: Peanut Butter Old Fashioned Soda

How can this go wrong? I love soda. I love peanut butter. This one should be a no-brainer. From the folks that brought me the terrible banana nut bread soda, Rocket Fizz is responsible for creating this peanut butter concoction. I don't get the "old fashioned" part of it though. Are they trying to say that back in the old soda shops of the 40s and 50s people would sit around indulging themselves in a Skippy soda? Or maybe it's supposed to remind you of a classic shake you could order at the sock hop? All I know is that I did some research on this one and NOBODY likes it. I couldn't find one positive review on it. Terrific.

Appearance:

Unlike the rest of Rocket Fizz's brands of soda, this one is pretty plain. I guess it's their attempt to make it look classic and old fashioned. It's brown like peanut butter so...that's something I guess, and it's made with pure cane sugar, 42 grams of it. And, not surprisingly, no nuts, peanuts, peanut butter, jelly, bread or any edible food product went into the making of this old-fashioned hell spawn.

Smell/First Sip:

So I was expecting an overwhelming smell of peanut butter and instead got...nothing? Not completely nothing, but it smells more like if someone was baking a peanut butter pie with their windows open...in

Cleveland. Strike two came when I poured some into a glass and instead of a thick, brown peanut buttery substance, it looked more like grapefruit juice. Time for a taste (sips). When you were a kid, did you ever try and make a sugar sandwich? I don't recommend it because it's way too sweet and stabs at your teeth. That's what this tastes like. Less peanut butter and more sugar-filled brass knuckles.

Drinkability:
I went for a few more sips and I'm actually reminded of those crappy unnamed Halloween peanut butter candies. You know, the ones that are always at the very bottom of your bag and are only eaten because it's February and your parents are threatening to throw them away. No one likes them. And no one likes this soda either. If you really hate one of your friends or family members, get this for them for Christmas, and then break the bottle over their head.

0 for 2 Rocket Fizz. You're bacon soda better be awesome.

Rocket Fizz: Banana Nut Soda (Video Review)

Matt and Adam try their first attempt at a video review.