MAYrathon 2.0 Day 13 - PayDay Candy Bar with BBQ Sauce?

This will be a quick one, as I’m home in Michigan to celebrate Mother’s Day. This one was also not on the original schedule, but I happened by it at my grocery store a few days ago and HAD to pick it up. A BBQ sauce flavored candy bar? And this isn’t from some crazy yokels like the folks that made Not See Kola. This is a Hershey's product!

If you’ve never seen or heard of a PayDay before, it’s essentially a nougat log with roasted peanuts glued on using caramel. It’s pretty ok. I don’t think anyone has ever said it’s their favorite candy, but it’s edible. So why mess with what works and add BBQ sauce flavor? Apparently it’s part of Hershey’s new Flavors of America campaign which also includes a New York Cheesecake Hershey bar, a California Strawberry Kit-Kat and Hawaiian Coconut Hershey Kisses. Those all sound awesome, but I still can’t wrap my head around BBQ candy. Let’s give it a go.

The smell is undeniably peanuts and BBQ sauce. It’s still mainly a nougat bar, but the peanuts are dusted with red and orange spices. Let’s see what it taste like. I...I don’t know what to say. Let me try and explain the taste process as I’m chewing. “Gross...hmmm not bad...I like this...oops now it’s gross again...I’m going in for another bite.” And then the process repeats itself until the candy is gone and I’m in the fetal position ranting about the San Antonio Spurs. Definitely one of the strangest candies I’ve ever tried, but in a weird way, it almost works. I’m so confused…  

Watermelon Flavored Sodas

I really need to clean out my fridge. I've just been picking up random sodas left and right, and with my giant box of Asian sodas in transit, I need to clear some space. Typically when I do reviews I'll try to have a theme like nostalgia, Asian or Piece of Shit, but they can't all be creative winners. So today, let's look at three beverages that are watermelon flavored...because why not.

Filbert's Old Time Quality Watermelon

What's a health inspector?

Ah, good old Filbert's. Who could forget the Old Time Quality taste you include in every tasty bottle. Why, we've been best pals since - June of 2016. Maybe even July. Yea, I had never heard of Filbert's Soda before, but apparently it's a Chicago staple since 1926. Much like Vernors is to Detroit, I guess Filbert's is a mainstay in the Chicago area; the picture to the right is an actual photo of their bottling machinery, apparently unchanged since the 20s. I came across this bottle at a brewery in the suburbs. I had never (to the best of my knowledge) actually tried a watermelon flavored soda, so I was intrigued and tantalized. And then it sat in my fridge forgotten for two months. Well I pulled it out recently and looked up the company. Though I've lived in Chicago for ten years, and for most of that time off of Ashland Ave. (Where the company is located), I still have never heard of them. And now I am definitely on the hunt to find more, as they produce more than thirty flavors from Green Apple to Banana to Grapefruit to Mr. Newport (which I assume is a cigarette flavored soda). But the theme today is watermelon, so let's get into it.

No actual watermelons were killed in the making of this soda, and for a high-fructose beverage, it's only 100 calories. The smell is very sweet and reminiscent of a candy watermelon. Low carbonation and almost a sticky-sweet texture as it flows down the ol' soda hole........If I did a blind taste test, and you asked me to tell you what it is, I would probably say Faygo Red Pop or Big Red. While there's the slightest hint of watermelon, it really tastes more like a classic red soda. Not bad at all, but not really what was advertised. I'd give it an 8/10 for flavor, but a 2/10 for overall watermeloniness. (patent pending)

Jolly Rancher Soda: Watermelon

This one is the second Jolly Rancher flavored soda to come from my friend Anisa. Those Albanians must really Love soda based on candy! I'm actually really excited to try this because of how much I loved the Blue Raspberry flavored one I had a few months ago. I already gave my thoughts on Jolly Ranchers in that review, so I am just going to dive right in and skip the lame jokes and pop culture references. I crack open the bottle and, oh yea, it's a watermelon Rancher. The smell is spot on. It's like they added some carbonation to melted candy. The taste? Freaking amazing. It's literally a liquid jolly rancher. For flavor: 9/10. For watermeloniness: That's tricky because while it tastes exactly like a watermelon Jolly Rancher, it doesn't taste THAT much like a watermelon. More than Filbert's did though, so I'd go 7/10.

Trader Joe's Watermelon Cucumber Cooler

Finally, this one is a bit of a cheat as it's not a soda and not JUST watermelon flavored, but it's watermelon and it's in my fridge, so we're tasting it. I was a little late in the game in discovering Trader Joe's. I used to think that if I went in there, I would be sprayed with patchouli oil and forced to join a hackey sack league. Upon my first time shopping there, I asked for plastic bags and the whole place erupted in a pre-Civil Rights movement silence when someone crossed water fountains. But I've grown to love it, and one of my favorite things is their ever expansive line of juices. I've said it before, my favorite Gatorade flavor is the Cucumber Melon. So I have high hopes for this. It's actually made with watermelon and cucumber juice (concentrate) and there's a ton of sediment on the bottom of the jug which just screams "I'm real, dammit." Let's give it a shot, eh? It smells both exactly like watermelon and cucumber and also nothing like the two. It's hard to explain, and this blog has gotten long, so I'm not even going to try. (swig) Super, super sweet. I taste the flavors, but it is overwhelmingly sweet. 8% of your daily carbs and sugars, sweet. I would need to cut this with some water just to drink any more of it. Both flavor and watermeloniness (patent pending) get a 5/10. 

What a way to say goodbye to summer with these watermelon treats. Tune in next time where I drink dirt and grass...I wish I was kidding.

"Fan" Submissions - Jolly Rancher and Martian Poop Sodas

July 9th, 2013. Exactly three years ago, I started this little blog dedicated to trying and reviewing exotic and weird sodas, juices and foods. It's not something I ever kept a regular schedule on and definitely not, even though others have tried to push me towards it, something I did for monetary value or fame. It's just a little creative outlet where I can combine my love of writing and my love of sodas. I obviously didn't think I'd still be doing it three years later, and as time goes by, I find myself interested in perhaps getting the word out there more, perhaps learning to edit video and maybe even create a regular schedule with some cash bonus. But for now, I enjoy my little mini "fan base" I've collected. Friends and family have seemed to enjoy what I do on here and I've even collected a few treasures along the way from the soda pop pillow from my mom to the awesome coasters with my website from my godmother. I've also gotten plenty of requests and even, on a rare occasion, some submissions. Which brings me to where we are today with my first ever "fan" submission. Fan is in quotes because let's be honest, they're just friends who have probably taken pity on my terrible existence...let's drink!

  Jolly Rancher Soda: Blue Raspberry

This first one comes from a former student who graduated this year, Anisa. She had asked me if I liked Jolly Ranchers one day, to which I replied that I did but typically choose not to eat them. You see folks, not only have I been blessed with short stature, a flabby physique, webbed toes and a graying beard, but I've also been gifted with a small throat! Thank you, Jeebus. Basically, anytime I attempt to eat a hard candy, it almost always finds its way "down the wrong tube" and I end up gagging. jolly ranchers to me are like sunlight to vampires. However, she wasn't talking about the candy but the soda. "There's a Jolly Rancher Soda?" I said in disbelief. And the rest is history. It's been in my fridge for about a month now and I'm finally ready to check it out. My favorite flavors were always the Green Apple or the Spicy Cinnamon ones. I'm sure I've had the blue many times as a kid, but I can't recall exactly what it tasted like. Then I open the bottle and give it a sniff and my memory is suddenly jolted back to life. It smells just like a blue Jolly Rancher I remember from childhood. I had forgotten that smell for probably twenty years. (Going in for a sip). Oh man that is awesome. That's probably the best blue soda I've ever had. It's really fresh and actually goes out of its way to TASTE like the candy its based on. I really like that. Apparently they DO have the green apple and cinnamon flavors out there too, so I'll be keeping my eyes open for those. Very tasty! 

Martian Poop

Martian...Poop? Why? How? Why is it so green? Aren't martians themselves supposed to be green? Do they poop themselves out? Am I overthinking this entirely? Yes. So here's what I know. This comes to me from my best friend Bryan who knows of my affinity for weird sodas. This comes from the Marian Sodas line of beverages from Rocket Fizz. Basically they take less popular fruit flavors, make them into a soda and for some reason make them space themed. I've had two before: kumquat and plum, and they were both very tasty. But this one is based off a flavor I've never head of before - marionberry. (Apparently spell check has never heard of it either.) So before I open up this neon pink concoction with green poop on the label, let's take a trip to Wiki town and do a little research. 

So from what I could gather by trying to read with my fourth grade intelligence, is that a marionberry is a form of blackberry that was genetically created by Oregon State University. It's some sort of hybrid that isn't even supposed to exist. Much like...a martian??? I see what you did there Martian Poop. It's apparently also the source of controversy in Oregon because some want to name it the state berry while others continue supporting the current state berry, the kotata andzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, who the hell cares? Let's crack it open! It really is the pinkest soda I've ever seen. It's lightly carbonated and smells of vague fruits I guess. Let's have a taste. (gulp) That's interesting. It has a very vague blackberry taste but its not the domnating flavor. Dare I say cotton candy? Ruby red grapefruit? Alien excrement? It's arguably probably the sweetest thing I've ever put in my mouth too, and that's saying something! Well done martians; your poop is lovely and when we colonize your planet, I know what I'll be eating while those other idiots are chewing on sardine paste. 

Well it's been a fun three years and I look forward to the next three. Thanks for your support, polite chuckles and for only hating me behind my back. If you have any suggestions for things I should try or want to be the next "fan" to submit something for me to drink so you don't have to, let me know!

MAYrathon Day 6: Botan Rice Candy

I need a treat.

While I've enjoyed my first week in the MAYrathon of MAYhem (That's a twofer!). The last two things I've consumed have either consisted of cheetos made of dead shrimp or "juice" made of stupid celery. But the weekend is upon us and I'd like to kick it off with a sweet Asian treat. I'm talking, of course, about Botan Rice Candy.

I tried to do some digging on what a Botan is, but all that came up were different images of some blue haired anime guy. Upon further investigation, it seems that Botan is the name of the Japanese peony blossom but also named after some type of citrus flavoring used in Asian candies to simulate citrus flavorings. But who cares what it's called or what it tastes like; the reason I wanted this weekend treat is because the box promises a FREE CHILDREN'S STICKER INSIDE!!! Hell...freakin...YES! I'm going to crack open this little box and see what life changing adhesive will become a permanent part of my face.

Asian Lance Bass

After thirteen hours of parading up and down the streets of Chicago sporting my new sticker, I decided to pour out the rest of the contents of my box into my hand. I was taken aback to discover six individually wrapped, red sucking candies. I guess with the name Rice Candy, I expected like a sweet rice cake or a packet of soy sauce. This was unexpected. 

But who cares...I got my sticker. Nothing's gonna bring me down! Let's unwrap one of these suckers and see what they taste like. Two more surprises - it's wrapped in a second layer of rice paper, which I ate and now probably have chlamydia, and it's a soft, chewy candy.  It's not too bad. I'd equate it to the taste of a Gushers fruit snack without the gooey center. Decent candy. BADASS sticker. 

The 12 Days of POPmas Day 10: Rocket Fizz Black Licorice and Green Apple Jalapeno

Today's a twofer. I decided to try my other two remaining Rocket Fizz sodas in one post for two reasons. One - I already talked about my history with Rocket Fizz and the bottles are pretty minimalistic, so I don't have a ton of new stuff to say except for just cracking the bottles open and trying them. And two - I wasn't sure which one I wanted to try more. So why not both?

First up is black licorice soda. I talked before about how the buttered popcorn jelly belly is perhaps the most polarizing flavor known to man, but now I think I may have to correct myself. Black licorice is definitely a flavor that everyone, whether negative or positive, has a strong opinion about, and I think there's more hate than love for this dark candy concoction. And truthfully, no one I know really has much experience with an actual black licorice; it's always the black jelly beans that are usually left for last or thrown to the seagulls. Even when it came to those sniffable markers (referencing a 12 year old Dane Cook reference here - I'm cool), the licorice one was always the one you gave to the smelly kid who was trying to color with thumb tacks. Personally, I don't mind the taste, and I'm interested to see how it transfers into a soda, so let's give it a shot! I open it up and there's that strong black licorice smell. Reminds me of childhood jellybeans and collegehood jagger bombs. Here goes nothing...I'm actually pretty happy with how mild the flavor is. It doesn't overpower the senses and it's overall pretty drinkable. More like a root beer with a hint of licorice on the back end. I'd give it a 4 out of 5 Santa Hats.

Next is Green Apple Jalapeno. It's just such a weird combination; I don't even really know what to say about it. Besides being green, there's really no relationship between these two foods at all. I've never had anything where they've been put together. I just really gotta try thing; no more yammering on! I open it up an WHOA it smells just like a jalapeno. Not getting any apple though. Let's give it a taste. It's so...weird. It's not at all spicy, but it tastes like a green apple jalapeno. It's like the took out everything that makes a jalapeno spicy, threw in some soda water and green apple Jolly Ranchers and tossed it all in a blender. This is up there with the Jerky soda as one of the most unique flavors I've ever tried, except that it's not God Awful like the jerky soda. This one get a 4.5 out of 5 Santa Hats. I'd revisit this one again!

So of course I did what any 32 year old adult with a Master's Degree would do and decided to pour them both into a glass just for shits and giggles. And...now my tummy hurts...

The 12 Days of POPmas Day 2: Jelly Belly Sour Cherry

Let's keep this holiday choo-choo of exotic sodas chugging along with yet another pop based on a popular candy, Jelly Belly. Part of the reason I'm doing this marathon is fear of these sodas expiring, and as I look at this bottle with no expiration date, I notice a random white film forming around the lip of the bottle. It's probably not safe to drink, but what the hell - I got lots of unused sick days!

Jelly Belly put out a line of "gourmet sodas" including flavors such as Tangerine, Lemon Drop, Strawberry Jam and French Vanilla, but no Buttered Popcorn?!?! That's my all-time favorite flavor of Jelly Bean and it's probably the most polarizing candy in all creation. People either love it or hate it; there's no in between. But think of the marketing value there. You can go to the movies and just get ONE item that has everything. Sparkling soda goodness. Warm buttery favoring. Shame sweats. Someone get Jelly Belly and the patent office on the phone, I have an idea. 

As I tend to do, I went with the most obscure flavor available - Sour Cherry. I know the sour cherry beans taste good, but does the soda do it justice? Let's find out. (smells like a jelly bean so that's a good/terrifying sign right off the bat) But the taste???

Wow! This one lives up to the hype! It's sour. It's cherry. It's bubbly. I can already feel my teeth rotting off from the 42 grams of sugar, but hot damn is this tasty. This one gets a four and a half out of five Santa hats. 

The 12 Days of POPmas Day 1: Astro Pop Soda

Well, when I decided to start writing about obscure sodas again over the summer, I went a little overboard. There's about 40 random sodas around my apartment and some are likely to expire soon. So I figure why not tie it in to the holidays and clean some shelf space with "The 12 Days of POPmas." Each day until Christmas Eve, I'll be doing a mini-review from some of the more random sodas I've purchased over the last six months. So let's get started with day one.

 
To your left is today's beverage of choice: Astro Pop Soda Passion Fruit, and to your right is a photo of an actual Astro Pop. The weird thing is, even though I know Astro Pops exist, I don't know for sure if I've ever had one before. I'm sure I must have at some point but I really couldn't say what an Atro Pop tastes like. Which is also why I went with the most obscure flavor I could find: passion fruit. I really don't know if I could point out what a passion fruit tastes like either. Essentially what I'm saying is, this could taste like goat blood oatmeal (goatmeal?) and I still wouldn't know if it's true to a passion fruit OR an Astro Pop.

The bottle happily tells me that it contains zero calories, invites me to "Enjoy the full Astro Pop experience new in bottles," and informs me that this beverage is "Ultra Sweet: 100% Natural Non GMO." That's a lot of information to take in, and I'm a little bummed because I was looking for at least 40% GMO for my still-growing boyish figure. The nutrition facts shows that while there are 0 grams of sugar, there ARE 9 grams of sugar alcohol? Uh...is this legal? Alright let's give it a whirl.

Lightly carbonated and A LOT less sweet than I anticipated. It tastes kinda like a Wally Warhead once the sour wears off. A nice taste for a sucker but not so much for a soda. I'll give this one two out of five Santa hats.