MAYrathon 2.0 Finale - The Great Gay Dolphin Grab Bag

It's the last day of May. It's my last day of my MAYrathon. It's my last day in Myrtle Beach. I figure I would close this month out with something a little different. I shan't be drinking a weird soda and I shan't be consuming a weird food. Today, I am trying my luck at some grab bags blind bags! In my late teens and early twenties, I was obsessed with getting grab bags at the Salvation Army. I was not the target audience (it was for kids), and it almost never produced anything good, but the mystique was all too alluring. This afternoon I revisited a popular Myrtle Beach destination - The Gay Dolphin.  Hilarious name aside, it's been around since 1946 and is arguably the biggest gift shop in Myrtle Beach.  What drew me today were the grab bag items. I picked up three kid ones at $1.98 a piece (it's a clear yellow bag but wrapped in newspaper, so there's no way to tell what's really inside) and one mystery brown bag with no information other than the price - $4.98. Let's Dig in!

Toy Bag #1
You know - if I were a little kid and got all of this in a bag for under two bucks, I'd be pretty psyched! We have a heart shaped blue necklace with the 98 cent price tag still on it (already halfway to my money), a plastic pirate telescope that doesn't do shit, an awesome parachute man that I'll be chucking off my balcony tonight, a mini squirt gun, a spinning top, a Chinese finger lock, a peace sign ring, three plastic gold coins, a pair of false teeth and a nemo ripoff. Sweet first haul!


Toy Bag #2
Oh. Kinda the same, but also somehow lamer. Same spinning top. Same
false teeth. Same parachute man. shitty pirate telescope but this time it's black. Mini squirt gun but this time it's green. Nemo ripoff but this time it's a shark. Only TWO fake gold coins, and the only original item - a plastic sand timer. woo...........hoo.......?


Toy Bag #3
Son...of...a...bitch. It's an amalgamation of the first two bags but some of them have different colors. I don't know what I was expecting for $1.98, but I thought the bags would at least have some variety to them. I'm hoping the five dollar mystery bag has some real treasures!


$5.00 Mystery Bag
Yeah....obviously this was meant for girls. I got a Bling! Bling! Bling! ring
holder that looks like a pink dick, some genuine shell jewelry which is likely not genuine, a dumb yellow fake flower pin and a shitty luggage tag which I assume is supposed to be a lily pad? I have no idea. Worst $5.00 ever. I'm going to throw some parachute men off the balcony so hard. Just...so freaking hard.

By the way, this was all wrapped in newspaper, so if you don't want to know who the September Bog-Off Pageant Queen winners were in September of 2016....look away now.