Happy day after Columbus Day everyone. After a day of rockin' out with Chris and thanking him for discovering this badass nation of ours, it's time to take some time to honor that other country that's not Canada that is also part of North America that was sorta, kinda discovered by Columbus. (Run-On Sentences are fun!). Yes, I'm talking about Mexico. Hola! One thing I hear the bosses say at work quite often is that the "demographics are changing." Which is a fancy way of saying, "hey, didn't there used to be more Irish people around here? And why is the guacamole sold out at every grocery store?" I, for one, embrace the Mexican culture, especially their cuisine. So why not drink some dessert sodas based on some of the most popular Mexican sweets? And why not die of a sugar overdose in my early 30s? This trio of triumph comes to us from....of course...Rocket Fizz, who last made me drink grass and dirt and cry for three days straight. Well let's check these bad boys out in the order of least to most excited to try.
#1 - Rosa's Arroz con Leche (Sweet Rice Soda)
It's not so much that I'm not excited as that I'm just not really familiar with Arroz con Leche. My Spanish isn't great and I assumed it meant whale milk cheese truffle with snail droppings, but I was pretty off. It's essentially a rice pudding with cinnamon. How can that be bad? In fact, all three of these sodas have cinnamon included in the flavoring. Is that the national dish of Mexico? Well all three bottles are brought to us by "Dos Amigos" which includes a picture of two definitely white guys pretending to look Mexican, and all all promise to have SABOR GRANDE! (great taste). Best not be lying to me Mexico! Nothing in the ingredients suggest anything natural has ever touched this bottle - no cinnamon, no rice, no hope. But let's open up the bottle and see what's inside, si? I'm surprised at how much it smells like rice. It's not overly sweet smelling - it's more like a plate of Uncle Ben's. Let's drink!.....I know it's not supposed to, but it tastes a lot like Jelly Belly Buttered Popcorn. Which, as you know, is my favorite jelly bean flavor. They could market it as that and make a million pesos or something. I dig this for what it should be more than for what it's supposed to be. I give this four out of five offensive sombrero dances.
#2 - Jorge's Horchata (Horchata Soda)
I've had horchata once or twice and it's been pretty enjoyable. I'm not a huge milk fan overall, but a milky drink with rice, almonds and cinnamon is something I can respect. My Hispanic friends love horchata and it's pretty much the unofficial/official drink of Mexico. It's been awhile since I've had a glass, but my taste bud memory is pretty hardcore, so I think I know what I'm getting in to. Not surprisingly, it contains pretty much the exact same fake ingredients as the Sweet Rice soda, give or take some Yellow #5. Remember when we were kids and we believed the rumor that Yellow 5 in Mountain Dew would make our most important body parts shrink? Remember? The...the rumor? (wipes away a single tear) Anyway, let's give it a sniff. Well I was expecting more cinnamon once again, but it's overwhelmingly an almond scent. Maybe I haven't had this before? Only one way to find out (takes an el sip). The smell threw me off, but this does taste like how I remember. It's very bubbly yet smooth at the same time. There's some cream, cinnamon and rice for sure, but even though the smell was overpowering, I'm not TASTING almonds. Not bad overall though. 3.5 out of five offensive sombrero dances.
#3 - Burros Churros (Churro Soda)
This is the one I'm most excited to try. One of my fondest memories when tagging along with a friend or family member with a Costco membership was grabbing a giant dollar churro at their cafeteria. It was just the right amount of cinnamon, sugar, butter and shame sweats. I have nothing more to say; I want to open it up and give it a taste. The smell is a little underwhelming. There's a little sugarness to it but not much. (glug glug) Oh man that's awesome. The butter is the dominant flavor and I mean that in a good way! It's like a churro from Costco, a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a stick of Country Crock while adding bubbles. I really like this and would seek it out again. 5/5 for sure! Thanks so much my Mexican friends, you're muy bien. Now to go take a siesta sugar coma death sleep. OLE!
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