And the award for the longest title goes to...Rainbow Dash Fizzy Cherry Splash Flavored Drink. I got this from my godmother last Christmas and stumbled across it the other day as I was cleaning out my cupboard. I decided to throw caution and expiration dates to the wind, throw it in the fridge and drink it with Pony Pride.
Now while I am somewhat aware of the popular Brony movement - apparently middle aged dudes obsessed with a show made for seven year old girls, it's a bandwagon I haven't jumped on. It seems less good, clean fun and more gateway drug to NAMBLA. I wasn't even sure who Rainbow Dash was. I looked her up on the official website and it said: "Rainbow Dash is always ready for an adventure with her pony friends. Rain or shine, she is a loyal dependable friend. She sounds like a real tool to me, but again, I'm not the target demographic. And apparently she has a rainbow lightning bolt on her ass because why wouldn't she. I originally thought this was an energy drink. They're done similar sized cans of energy drinks for licensed characters such as The Simpsons, Ghost busters, Sonic the Hedgehog and 60 Minutes (that one's made up). But I looked at the ingredients and there is no caffeine or B vitamins at all. Then I got to thinking - there's no way they could market an energy drink to kids or pedophiles. So what's in this can then?
It's very, very mild both in taste and in flavor. Even though "fizzy" is clearly defined as one of its main character traits. It may be because this is a bit on the old side, but even so. To me, it tastes like Cherry 7-Up. At 8.4 ounces, I was finished with it before I got to give my official diagnosis. Not terrible, but nothing earth shattering. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go create an adult's only fan club for children's TV show "The Wiggles" that I shall call, well, The Wiggles. Come join me downtown!
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