It's funny how this marathon has turned into a bit of a diary as I've gone on. "Dear Diary: today was a tough day. Now I'll eat some goat scrotum." Today was my third in a strand of long days at work. As the school year winds down, there are always a ton of events in the auditorium and this week was no exception. After a few days of preparation, we had a dance show tonight in the auditorium that comprised of both college students and elementary kids. While the rehearsals went great, tonight's show was a comedy of errors. Everything that could do wrong DID GO WRONG. It was the epitome of a fail. When I finally got home, I realized eating something obscure and talking about it would at least cheer me up a little bit! However, the fails kept on coming as I sat down to eat some Ham Flavored Concentrate.
When I picked this up, I thought maybe it would be like a SPAM or potted meat product like Vienna sausages. The smiling pig on the label and the fact that it was made by Goya, a well-known company specializing in Mexican oddities, were enough to convince me to throw it into my cart at the grocery store. And it sat in my cupboard for the last half month until today, when I was hungry and bummed after the day, and decided I needed a meaty pick-me-up. I should have known I was getting PORKED once again (does that pun even work?). My first indication was as I was getting ready to eat (I literally had a fork out) and I read the side of the box which exclaimed "The flavor of one packet equals the ham flavor of 1/4 pound of smoked county ham in your cooking. Add one packet to tour favorite recipes calling for ham flavor such as beans, sofritos, rice, vegetables, etc." 
This isn't even food! It's ham flavored seasoning. What the hell, karma! I'm hungry!
It's funny that while the main box labels it as "Ham Flavored Concentrate," when I open it up and see the packets, they call it "Ham Flavored Seasoning." Obviously if I KNEW it was just seasoning, I wouldn't have bought it! But you know what? I opened the box, and it's too late to go back now...I'm going to eat some ham salt. 
I pour the seasoning out onto a paper plate and it definitely has a ham scent to it. It's a brownish-clay color and it's very finely chopped. I'm just going to dip a finger into the mixture and give it a taste...
Do you remember the less popular version of candy cigarettes, the shredded beef jerky that was made to look like you were eating chewing tobacco? That's what this is but in powder form. I'm not a chef, but I don't get he point of this at all. Are there enough instances where you're cooking up a stew and realize you need more pig spice? And I'm still hungry. Maybe I can dig those crunchy fish rolls out of the garbage?
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