MAYrathon Day 31 (Finale): A Brief, Non-researched History of Surge

After 31 days of sodas, juices, fruits and fish, I knew there was only one way I could end this marathon. One soda, above all other sodas, that I knew wouldn't be a disappointment. I wanted to end on a high note, and nothing else brings that euphoria, that pure and total satisfaction for me more than Surge soda. What follows is a brief recalling of my own personal history with Surge. I decided to go straight from memory, so the dates and other factual information may be a little off, but this is what I remember. Some people love dogs. Some people love board games. Me: I love Surge.

Do you remember the Surge commercials? If you don't here's a look at one of them: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTY8hrvFck8

Surge was the new kid on the block when I was in middle school, and it was unlike anything I'd ever seen before. Those crazy, in-your-face commercials were my first introduction to the delicious citrus flavored soda. It was a pop for my generation. Not stale and boring like Coke or Pepsi, and not played out like Mountain Dew. No, this was something hip. Something you wanted to be seen drinking by your peers. It was more than just a new soda; it was a status symbol. We never had much soda in the house growing up, but after witnessing those commercials, I begged my mom to buy me some Surge. When she finally relented, I grabbed a glass with some ice and poured the ambrosia into my cup. I was shocked to see the bright neon green color. Unlike anything I had witnessed before. This was also pre-energy drinks, so at the time, it was the highest caffeine content provided by a soft drink.

From that first taste, I was addicted. I remember the joy of having a can of Surge packed in my lunch. Talking about the commercials with my friends and imitating the classic "SUUUURGE" call. They even had a tie in with WCW. If Surge was my favorite thing in middle school, than wrestling was definitely my second favorite. To see Ric Flair battling Booker T in an uncensored with a Surge  refrigerator in the background was the greatest thing in the word (I hadn't quite discovered girls yet). Surge was even the first can to introduce the wide-mouth lid that is commonplace in all sodas today. With that extra lip space, I could gobble down my Surge even faster! Surge and I were going to be best buddies for life; I just knew it!


As I got older, Surge began to be around less and less in my favorite stores and restaurants. I don't remember when I found out officially, but I had learned that Coca Cola was slowly beginning to phase out Surge from their lineups due to poor sales. In my senior year of high school, it became a rare treat to see Surge on the menu. And by then it was only in Fountain Drink form - cans and bottles were completely eliminated from stores. It was like an old friend slowly wasting away before my very eyes. I remember the last time I ever saw it. It was on a serving tray at a Steak N Shake during my freshman year of college at Western Michigan University. My eyes immediately light up upon seeing the familiar logo. I asked her for a glass and she paused and told me she had to check in the back. I was in luck as she relayed that we had just a little syrup left and they weren't getting anymore as Coke has stopped shipping it. I sat there enjoying my tasty treat not realizing it would be my last for over a decade.

So that was it. Surge was done. But for some reason, I never quite gave up on the green goodness. If you look back on my Facebook, my very first profile picture was that of the Surge logo. I also belonged to a website called Save Surge which tried and failed to bring it back in the mid 00s. I even contemplated ponying up the $80 it would take to have Norway's Urge (Coke continued the brand in this country under a different name and color) to my house just for one more fix of that familiar flavor. Both Coke and Pepsi attempted other "extreme" citrus sodas to fill the void such as MD-X and Vault, and though similar, they just didn't fill the void. Both were cancelled soon after their inception. As time went on, I began to give up hope of Coca Cola every bringing it back.

All was quiet until around 2012 or so when I stumbled across the Facebook page, The Surge Movement. This was a group that was truly passionate about bringing Surge back to the point where they even bought a billboard and placed it right outside of Coca Cola's headquarters in Georgia. These guys were relentless and eventually even got a meeting with the higher ups at Coke to discuss the future. Then in 2014, the most unlikely thing happened, it was announced that Surge was coming back exclusively through Amazon. I couldn't get online fast enough. Unfortunately, the demand was so high that they sold out of their entire stock in hours. Luckily, my friends Andy and Scott knew what a big fan I was and Scott was kind enough to give a can to Andy to share with me. The picture to my left is me about to try Surge for the first time in twelve years. I was happy as a pig in s%^$, and the minute that familiar green fizzy liquid came out of the can and embraced my tongue, I was reborn once again! The impossible had been made possible!

Which brings up to the present day. Since being introduced through Amazon, Surge began to make its way to stores and gas stations across the nation. While only available in solo 16 oz cans, it is certainly better than nothing. The gas station next to my parents' house sells it, and I always make sure to stock up every time I visit home. It was around the middle of the month that I realized I wanted to do a Surge review to end my MAYrathon. Surge, however, hadn't made its way to most of the Chicago area, so I threw one of the unopened cans I'd been saving in fridge in plans of drinking it on the 31st of the month. Well, as fate would have it, I stopped at my local 7-11 just yesterday and for the first time EVER, Surge was on the shelf. FRESH SURGE! Like the stupid dogs in Homeward Bound, Surge had followed me home. Now, it may sound silly to some of you that a grown adult could be so obsessed with a soda, and it probably is, but I'm just glad to have it back.

Thanks for joining me on this 31 day journey of the weird and wonderful. I'll be back soon!

MAYrathon Day 30: Ol' Glory America's Energy Drink

Today is Memorial Day and it only seemed appropriate to do something patriotic. All three of my grandfathers served in various wars, so this day holds a special significance for me and honoring the memory of those three men as well as all of those who have served and/or fallen in defense of our great country. So I wanted to do my civic duty and take a break from all the Asian fish crackers and Austrian sodas and drink me some 'MERICA!

And this 16 oz can is oozing with patriotism. This might be the most American thing EVER. Let's go over the list of the items that make this the most patriotic pop this side of parliament.

1. The entire can is made of the red, white and blue stars and stripes

2. The very top of the can is an attempt to get you to enlist in the army. "Energize your future in the army national guard. 1-800-go-guard.com." (Is that a phone number or a website?)

3. Two different places on the can, it tells you that your purchase supports "Operation Homefront" and a portion of the money made on each can does to that cause.

Twice it also mentions it only being 99 cents, a real AMERICAN price.

4. It is distributed by the AMERICAN Beverage Company (Sorry, Tokyo)

5. And finally, the back of the can actually has the entire script for the freakin' Pledge of Allegiance!

Man! I want to enlist in the army right now!!! I wonder if they take short, husky, asthmatics in their 30s? I'll probably be a Navy Seal within the week. Well the price is right and the message is clear, so how about the taste? I was pleasantly surprised by the smell; it didn't have the generic energy drink scent that usually is associated with cheaper energy drinks. It's pretty darn good too. Not overpowering with a light citrus aftertaste. It's not too heavy and definitely refreshing on a hot day like today. I'm a fan of this drink, and I'm a fan of you, AMERICA! 

MAYrathon Day 29: Jack Black's Dead Red Root Beer

Yep. That's me. I'm probably about 19 in that photo. I was unsuccessfully trying to grow a beard and trying to pose for cool guy photos hoping no one would notice that giant mystery stain on my shirt. And check out that sweet digital watch too. What a lady killer I was! The reason I'm showing you this picture, besides as a gift to the ladies, is to hearken you back to an era that would change my life forever. At the turn on the century, I was working at a movie theater; I worked their on and off before, during and after college. It was around that time that a spry, portly and manic comedian named Jack Black began taking the world by storm in both movies and music with his band, Tenacious D. It was this time, as movies like Shallow Hal and Orange County came out, that I was reminded every day by strangers and friends that I remind them of Jack Black. At first it was flattering; a lot better than being told I remind them of John Candy or Milton Berle. But soon, especially while working at the movie theater, it became a daily annoyance. A day didn't go by without being told "you remind me of that guy..." or "Dude, you're just like whats-his-name, from that movie, you know!" And Jack Black wasn't just a flash in the pan either. Soon he was headlining blockbuster movies, playing music venues everywhere, lending his voice to video games and cartoons, and even a line of skincare products! (See photo below). It seemed like there was only one place I could escape Jack Black mania was my last great love - soda pop. Until there came a time where I discovered Jack Black's Dead Red Root Beer, and I finally had to give in to the madness. 

Seriously, beard and skincare products! I got this as a Christmas gift this year!

I'm going to say right off the bat that this is NOT a fresh bottle of Dead Red Root Beer. I don't know if that will affect the taste or not, but I'm going for it anyway. I haven't been able to find an official website or anything, but there does appear to be another pop in the line, Blood Red Cola. Something to look for if I survive this one. The label features a skull and crossbones and all types of Jack Black type sayings about the root beer such as: "Third time available in 420 Years," "Once you've had Jack Black, you'll never go back," and Better dead read than just plan dead." I don't know what the target market is here. stoner, horny skeletons? One thing interesting to note is that unlike most Root Beers (except Barq's; it has bite), this one has caffeine. Like lots of caffeine. 

Let's try some Jack Black, eh? It smells a whole lot like Root Beer. The carbonation is pretty much gone and it's really flat. I think I may have let this one sit on the shelf for a bit too long. It's hard to really make any type of comment or review on it because it's clearly past it's prime. A shame too; I was looking forward to trying it. Maybe next time, JB! 

MAYrathon Day 28: Almdudler Natural Alpine Herb Soft Drink

Ah, on a hot and sunny day, nothing cures that insatiable thirst quite like that familiar red can on liquid refreshment. I'm talking of course of Almdudler Natural Alpine Herb Soft Drink. Who's with me? Right? Right! Where did everybody go? So as I've been around the world in this month of strange drinks and odd foods, I've received a lot of emails (complete and utter lie) about why I haven't dipped my pallet in anything from Austria. So I spent a half hour trying to locate Austria on the map, another six hours trying to figure out how to call someone, and an additional 17 minutes at the World Market where I came across this can of...I guess two bull fighters enjoying a day off?

Now I didn't realize when I picked this up that I was in the midst of Australian soda royalty. Apparently, second only to Coke, this is the most popular drink of Australia and got its roots and recognition by sponsoring the 1964 Olympics. The drink, which is loosely translated to mean Yodeling in the Alpine Pasture, produces over 80 millions cans and bottles a year. I guess the hills are alive with the sound of Almuddler right folks? Was that movie even set in Austria? What the hell IS Austria? Anyway, the drink apparently has grape, apple and ginger ale flavors and is made with herbal extract. It is most popular as a mixer with red and white wines. Well I aint no sissy, and I aint got no wine, so I'm going to try this right out of the bottle like a MAN. USA! USA!

Either 28 days in a row of smelling crap has finally destroyed my sense of small, or this beverages literally has no scent. I'm literally going in blind here so let's try a sip of Australian delight. It's mega-carbonated, even more so than a regular ginger ale, but that's what it most tastes like - ginger ale. I get a faint hint of herbs and apples but no grapes. I can see why this would be popular mixed with wine, champagne or orange juice; it's bubbly, highly flavorful and just sweet enough to not overpower whatever its mixed with. I like it. I'd drink it again. Go Austria and it's capital of........................................................goodnight everyone!

MAYrathon Day 27: Gingerbread Soda

Oh, the weather outside is 80

And the fire makes it hotter than Haiti

But since my social life is dead

Gingerbread, gingerbread, gingerbread (soda)

Yes there's nothing like the taste of the holidays in late March. Chestnuts are molding behind the closed fire, Jack Frost is on vacation in Barbados, and the carolers are busy avoiding my door because of...retraining orders. So in the spirit of the holidays, let's try some gingerbread soda.

I honestly don't have a ton to say leading up to tasting this one. There's little information about the beverage online or on the bottle except the image of two smiling cookies, one who has been murdered, gracing the front label. It's an odd, ginger-ale colored liquid, and the ingredients are your standard not-cookies. This may be a pretty short review, but all I really want to do is open it up and see if it tastes like gingerbread or not, so no stalling or backstory today - let's just dive in. 

The smell is unique. Not quite gingerbread but more like a toffee scent. Let's give it a taste.

Very low on the carbonation. Insanely sweet. Still not exactly like a gingerbread cookie, but I certainly taste some type of cookie/candy hybrid. If I had to come up with a comparison, I would say it tastes a lot like a Butterfinger. Yep. This is a Butterfinger soda. It's not bad; like I said - not a ton to say on this one. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go shovel some snow. 

MAYrathon Day 26: Canned Octopus in Garlic Sauce

My old friend Goya - we meet again. Today I'll be tasting and hopefully swallowing Goya's Octopus in Garlic Sauce. This was just something that randomly caught my eye the other day at the grocery store and I decided to give it a shot. You see, I am a huge octopus fan when it comes to sushi. Whenever I go out to get sushi, I always add a couple pieces of octopus (tako) to my order. It's firm, slightly sweet and mixed with wasabi and soy sauce, it's just about perfect. But today I'm doing the opposite of what I normally do. As I drink these sodas that imitate the flavor of crazy fruits like dewberry or grass jelly, I always wonder to myself what a fresh version of those fruits taste like. I now know what a mangosteen juice tastes like, but does the fresh fruit picked from the tree taste any different. Now with octopus, I know what a fresh piece of raw octopus tastes like, but will I like it from a can, sitting in room temperature and mixed with garlic sauce for $3.00? Only one way to find out...

Gotta love that generic cat food can with the easy-pull tab. Nothing locks in freshness better! The fact that the can is easy to open is even advertised on the box. As is an indicator that this is a product of Spain and that it is Hot/Picante. I've always associated octopus with the Japanese, but let's see what the Spanish have to offer. 

The second I open the can, the thick, viscous oil that helps preserve the octopus begins to ooze out of every crevice. The smell is strong too. Not necessarily a bad smell but one that signifies that I'll need to take the trash out as soon as I'm done with this review. If I get even one speck of this on my desk or computer, I'll probably have to move. 

The octopi are arranged into tiny piece that fall apart as I try and

stab them with my plastic fork. There's meaty chunks and tentacles all hanging out together in thick garlic oil. Well...bottoms up! If you're someone who hates mushroom or shrimp because of the texture, then this is definitely not for you. Texture is the name of the game with this product. The oil is overwhelmingly thick that the meat just kinda floats in there like jello. The octopus itself stats out chewy, then moves to crunchy and finally rests on salty. As on advocate of "I'll try anything once," I'm glad I tried it. That being said, I'll probably never try it again. Definitely getting sushi for lunch tomorrow...

MAYrathon Day 25: MacFUDDY Pepper Elixir

Today was the last day of school. If I count subbing, I will be wrapping up ten years in the education world. Although technically, I've been involved in some form of education since I was in preschool. I've never NOT been in school. That's an odd thing to think about! But this is also a summer for reflection. I know I have to figure some stuff out, make some decisions and adult-up about some things. What I really could use, besides a hot redhead, is some luck. Thankfully today's soda is MacFUDDY Pepper Elixir.

This soda has a very busy label with all kids of random phrases and claims, with the top one being the most eye catching: "Infused with luck. 12oz for 24 hours of favorable outcomes." So if I drink this whole bottle today, I will have luck for the next 24 hours; seems legit to me. The bottle also informs me that it's been around since 1941, that it is distinctively strong and cures timidness and satisfies the daring. These are some bold claims for a soda, but in a effort to up my luck-factor, I'm willing to take the gamble. 

I did a little research and I was interested to discover that MacFUDDY was originally brewed and bottled in Detroit, Michigan in the 40s and 50s and began regional circulation during the first year the US entered World War II. It continued regional success until the factory shut down in the 1960s. The recipe remained dormant for decades until it was recently brought back to life by the Orca beverage company. As it is called a Pepper Elixir, I am assuming it will taste like Dr. Pepper or some variation. Let's give it a lucky swig!

While in smell and taste, there is a very faint Dr. Pepper essence, it really most smells and tastes like RC Cola. It has that exact aftertaste of RC Cola that anyone who has been to a bar and ordered something with Coke it in can tell the bar is cheap and secretly used RC Cola. It's certainly interesting, but nothing earth-shattering. All I need to do now is wait and see what the next 24 hours brings. Hopefully a little luck...and a lot of hot redheads. 

MAYrathon Day 24: Grass Jelly Drink (Banana Flavor)

Well, here it is, my last item form the Asian Market, and the first one that caught my eye when I was initially picking stuff up. Grass Jelly Drink. The name alone called out to my curiosities. The photo was equal party horrifying and intriguing. It looks like a black sludge with a straw. I can't tell if that is supposed to be ice or if there are chunks of grass jelly in the can itself. And I didn't even see this until I got it out of the fridge today - it's banana flavored. I don't know if that's a good thing or not.

So there's a picture I found online of a common grass jelly drink. I don't feel like going into too much of a history lesson today, but supposedly grass jelly itself comes from the leaves and stalks of the mesona plant popular in the Eastern side of the world. It's most popular as a gelatin substance served mixed with syrup, cream, milk or as a beverage mixed with other fruit flavors. I was initially prepared to be really grossed out by this, but I have to be honest, I am curious as hell. I am going to go for a double-taster. First, I just want to take a sip of the beverage by itself. Then I'll pour the whole thing into a glass, chunks and all, and try some grass jelly jello, or wherever it's actually called.

Cracking open the can delivers and overwhelming smell of banana. I wish I had known originally that this was flavored because I would have looked for the "original" flavor. I feel like all I am going to get is banana.

I have this vague childhood memory of banana milk. I don't know if it was put out my Nesquick or Yoo Hoo or if it was its own product, but I remember the sweet taste distinctly after tasting this. It's really good. As I thought, the banana flavor overpowers everything, but it's sweet, refreshing and nostalgic. I'd drink this again in a heartbeat. All the chunks immediately settled at the bottom and it was hard getting them out of the can. Bottom's up:

The brown, murky color and dark, gelatinous blobs are visually disconcerting. but the taste is still pretty great. I'm very impressed and surprised by ow much I like this. If it wasn't so weird and rare, I would certainly consider making grass jelly part of a balanced McConnell breakfast. Move over breakfast ribs and breakfast beer, there's a new sheriff in town! 

MAYrathon Day 23: Fentimans Dandelion and Burdock

Stop me if you've heard this one:

IIIIIN East side, Michigan

Born and Raised

On the playground is where I spent most of my days

Chillin out, maxin, relaxin all cool

Just shootin' some bball outside of my school

When..............A floating dandelion cotton thing flies into my mouth and I start making a face and coughing like an idiot and then twenty years later I decide to have a soda based on said dandelion.

Catchy right?

F*$)**&$ing EVERYWHERE

Today I am taking a look at Fentiman's Dandelion and Burdock Soda. Fentimans has apparently been botanically brewing their sodas since 1905. The main ingredient in all of there beverages is ginger, but apparently after that, the sky's the freakin limit. Some of their other flavors include rose lemonade, Jasmine soda and Elderflower. And it's not like the traditional pops I'm used to that include sugar, chemicals and a prayer; these sodas all contain edible flowers as one of their main ingredients. There's even flowery sediment floating on the bottom of my bottle. I've heard rosewater can taste pretty good and elderflower has a nice sheen to it, but aren't dandelinons just yellow weeds? Aren't they the butt hole of the flower community? And don't even get me started on the burdock. DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THE BURDOCK!!!! Seriously....because....I don't know what that is. 

(sigh) I was hoping to spend one day NOT going on Wikipedia. 

Guys, it was a really long entry and I just didn't care enough to read anything about it. All I did find interesting was this tool bag standing behind to a giant burdock leaf and probably celebrating the only important thing he's ever done in life. I don't care about any learning today; let's drink some flower pop!

Upon first sniff, I can't help but compare it to the smell of liquid Robitussin. Really spot on to that exact smell. Which is great because I'm just getting over being sick while being on the stuff, so thanks for the memories, Fentimans.  I honestly have no idea what to expect here so...bottom's up.

Do you remember when you saw Star Wars for the first time ever? Then you saw Empire Strikes Back for the first time? For that first time in your life, a time you would never EVER be able to go back to, you were able to debate which movie was better. That's where I'm at with my first time tasting Dandelions and Burdocks. I can't make any distinctive comment until I try it again from somewhere else. As of now, it's the best AND worst dandelion and burdock I've ever tasted. Case closed. 

But Matty Mac, what does it taste like? DANDELION AND BURDOCK, fool! 

Remember this guy from before? What an asshat. 

MAYrathon Day 22: Boots Beverages: Dewberry Soda

Now where did I leave off with Boots Beverages? Ah yes - I had reviewed their Red Hot soda but was so tired and jaded from two days worth of cinnamon soda, that I didn't really put much care into that review. But I knew I'd revisit Boots Soda at some point because I had another flavor waiting in the wings: Dewberry Soda. Now before I get into exploring what the hell a dewberry is, let's talk briefly about Boots Beverages. Originating from the small town of Bellville, Texas, Boots beverages has adopted the Jones soda approach of affixing each of their bottles with unique and original photos. Boots, however, takes it one step beyond and offers a picture and a story about a local Bellville

resident. It's creative I guess, but I really don't care about some goobstick named Mark and how he's been collecting cans since he was five years old. If I read more and exercises more, I wouldn't be doing this dumb website, idiots. Boots has a few other flavors I'd be interested in checking out some day including Caramel Cola, Coconut, and Caramel Apple. But it was Dewberry that caught my attention the most at the store. As I've stated before, I'm most interested in the flavors I've never tried before. It's also interesting to note that since I picked this up about three weeks ago, It's been on a permanent carbonation overload. Like the pink slime form Ghostbusters 2.

So here's a dewberry. There's actually not a ton of information about this fruit, but it is a member of the blackberry family and the fruit grows so far to the ground and is so small that people often mistake them for nuisance weed, That and the fact that it is nearly impossible to pick them without instantly splattering the fruit and ruining your white pants is probably why it's one of the lesser known North American fruits. Also interesting to note, I guess, is that they produce both male and female fruit. As of most sodas I try, there's never been anything remotely close to a fruit to ever grace the carbonated concoction, but let's see what a dewberry is at least SUPPOSED to taste like.

The smell is very unique yet overwhelmingly familiar. I wish I had better than a fourth grade vocabulary to define it. It's comparable to blackberry jam or maybe even black cherry Kool Aid. I don't know exactly, but my olfactory memory is going crazy.

Yes, that's what it is - Black Cherry Kool Aid. Growing up, that was my dad's favorite Kool Aid flavor, so I have distinct memories of drinking it as a kid. Given that the carbonation was trying to escape since its inception, it's quite flat which also brings forth the flavor of a kool aid as well. A nice 90s flashback resulting from an unknown flavor. And no seafood either, so BONUS!

MAYrathon Day 21: Sa Giang Special Crab Chips?

Well the weekend is upon us and I am finally feeling better. I rarely ever get sick, but I usually get hit once a year around May. I was shaking, sweating, scatterbrained and all the while trying to teach children how to write a final essay. It was an awful experience, but I'm glad to say I'm on the mend. In fact, today is the first day I feel like I have my appetite back, so why not tempt fate once again by eating some Sa Giang! What's Sa Giang you say? I have no earthly idea. This was the one item from the Asian Market that I truly had no idea what it was or what it could possibly taste like. The English depiction says Special Crab Chips, so my assumption is that it's like a shrimp chip - a starchy, crunchy snack with a faint flavor of shellfish. The box itself paints a different picture. It shows a giant crab atop a bed of lettuce next to a beer. I'm also told that it is of premium quality and contains NO PEPPER. Is that a thing in Vietnam? They hate pepper? I looked to the ingredients and tapioca starch? is the main one followed by 13% crab which seems like an ominous and random amount of crab. What's weird too is that on the side of the box it tells me exactly the type of crab used: mud crab, and where it was caught: FAO area 71, Pacific Ocean. I guess if I really like this product I can, like, go get it fresh?

When I picked this up at the store and it said crab chips, I figured, like I said, it would be like a shrimp chip or at least similar to the crunch fish rolls; an out of the bag snack. But as I looked over the back of the box, it appears I need to prepare these mystery crustacean crunchies. I'm given three different options in three different languages: Vietnamese, English and apparently Latin. One thing I can do is soak the chips in oil my official Sa Giang wok while the third option is to boil the chips with shallots, bean sprouts and blood curds. Neither of these seem like a viable option for a round-eyed American like me, so I'll try option 2 - "use the viba oven at a rate of micropower from 40 to 60 seconds." I assume/hope that a viba oven is the same as a microwave oven. Let's open these up and get them on a plate to see what they look like pre-viba. 

There's definitely more than I thought there would be, and they're solid as a rock. I tried to bite into them just for kicks and it was impossible. They are also odorless. I don't see how in just 60 viba seconds this can become a delicious crab chip, but "when it Vietnam..." TO THE VIBA OVEN!

Sweet Jesus what have I created? They didn't all pop. My guess is, like the picture suggested, I was only supposed to add a few at a time instead of pouring the whole bag into a bowl. The crap smell is certainly apparent now, and they look like my original assumption of shrimp chips. They're smoking hot, but the curiosity is killing me let's go in for a bite. 

I have to contribute this taste test to human error. I put way too many in the bowl and as a result, almost each chip has parts that "popped" and parts that didn't. The parts that popped were actually pretty delicious. Good crab flavor that wasn't overpowering and a tasty treat. I'd like to do these again the right way someday. I just need to save up some more Vietnamese Dong to buy my Sa Giang wok and do it the right way next time. And let's leave tonight with a recognition that the Vietnamese currency is called dong. DONG! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. 

MAYrathon Day 20: Rainbow Dash Fizzy Cherry Splash Flavored Drink

And the award for the longest title goes to...Rainbow Dash Fizzy Cherry Splash Flavored Drink. I got this from my godmother last Christmas and stumbled across it the other day as I was cleaning out my cupboard. I decided to throw caution and expiration dates to the wind, throw it in the fridge and drink it with Pony Pride. 

Now while I am somewhat aware of the popular Brony movement - apparently middle aged dudes obsessed with a show made for seven year old girls, it's a bandwagon I haven't jumped on. It seems less good, clean fun and more gateway drug to NAMBLA. I wasn't even sure who Rainbow Dash was. I looked her up on the official website and it said: "Rainbow Dash is always ready for an adventure with her pony friends. Rain or shine, she is a loyal dependable friend. She sounds like a real tool to me, but again, I'm not the target demographic. And apparently she has a rainbow lightning bolt on her ass because why wouldn't she. I originally thought this was an energy drink. They're done similar sized cans of energy drinks for licensed characters such as The Simpsons, Ghost busters, Sonic the Hedgehog and 60 Minutes (that one's made up). But I looked at the ingredients and there is no caffeine or B vitamins at all. Then I got to thinking - there's no way they could market an energy drink to kids or pedophiles. So what's in this can then?

It's very, very mild both in taste and in flavor. Even though "fizzy" is clearly defined as one of its main character traits. It may be because this is a bit on the old side, but even so. To me, it tastes like Cherry 7-Up. At 8.4 ounces, I was finished with it before I got to give my official diagnosis. Not terrible, but nothing earth shattering. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go create an adult's only fan club for children's TV show "The Wiggles" that I shall call, well, The Wiggles. Come join me downtown! 

MAYrathon Day 19: Longan in Syrup

I think I'm getting sick. I was fine all day at school but as soon as I got home, my body just shut down. After weeks of long nights, early mornings and lots of responsibilities, I finally need a break! The problem is, tomorrow is the last Friday of the school year AND the last auditorium event of the year, AND we're going over the final in all my classes so...I'm screwed, I'm probably going to bed as soon as this review is done. But what to review? There's no way I can stomach anything weird, and pop just doesn't sound appealing right now. What's a sick Matty Mac to do? Well, I'm gonna robe up, grab a plastic fork and revisit some Asian Fruit. Canned Fruit. Longan! Longan?

Longan is also known as a Dragon Eye because of its shape and color when it is peeled. It looks on the outside like a small kiwi, but is actually part of the lychee family; however, longan is known to be much more sweet. It's used both in Chinese cuisines and sometimes for its medicinal purposes - Yes! I know I made a good decision here!

I open the can and peer inside. They're a lot smaller than I would have thought. Way smaller than a

kiwi but slightly bigger than a grape. As is customary whenever eating a canned fruit, I have to taste the juice first. It's definitely sweet and thick with syrup much like your everyday fruit cocktail that always comes with 6 million pears and one cherry. This has a bit more of a grapefruit taste to it.

I'm excited to try this. It's something I have certainly never had nor heard of in my life. Here goes nothing......well that's tough to describe. It's very firm as I bite into it and has an almost lemon rind texture to it. Also not as sweet as I would have thought. The syrup it was made with is way sweeter and fruity where as the fruit itself is pretty bland and uninspiring. Perhaps that is a result of the canning process. Either way, a bit of a letdown. I would only seek this out if I had the chance to try it fresh one day.
Alright, I am going to go to bed and set 56 alarms in hopes that I get up tomorrow. Knowing my luck, I have the chicken Pox.