MAYrathon 2.0 Day 6 - Pineapple Whip

Pineapple Whip Soda from the O-Zell Soda Company. This is another one I've had for a long time on the shelf, and there's no real cool backstory as to why I purchased it. I think the name, Pineapple Whip, caught my attention and made me wonder if it has more of a dessert taste than a traditional pineapple soda. And also the Disney-like Hawaiian character on the label seemed like a classic cartoon I enjoyed in my youth. Upon doing a little research into the company, I didn't realize how true that was!

O-Zell began in the early 1900s, financed by none other that Walt Disney's father, Elias Disney; which explains why the characters on the bottle look so Disney-esque. It                   

was his dream to produce, market and sell exotic, oriental sodas out of a factory in Chicago. Everyone, including Walt, helped out in the factory, but sadly the family ran out of money before any soda ever made it to the public market. And that was it. Until 2014 when a couple in Chicago decided to revive the company with various flavors and sell them in stores like Rocket Fizz. But what's even cooler than that is that proceeds from the sale go towards restoring Disney's 1901 home to its original condition and making it a historical landmark. http://www.thewaltdisneybirthplace.org/   So for once, I can say my terrible soda habit is for a good cause - take THAT Buddha.

So let's give it a taste - for Disney! The bottle proclaims to be all natural and is made with Hawaiian cane sugar which seems interesting. Other than that, it's the standard soda stuff. Let's crack it open. Very strong carbonation rushes to the top of the glass bottle, and the smell is certainly that of Pineapple. I've always enjoyed pineapple sodas, so this should be a good one. Let's find out...yea it's really tasty. I get where the "whip" part comes from. It's not like a Faygo or Fanta Pineapple, it has more of a carbonated pineapple jello taste. Not bad at all. I feel like I should end on a Whip It joke here, but it just seems like too low hanging fruit. Like pineapple. HA! 

MAYrathon 2.0 Day 5 - Tamarind Sparkling Drink

Happy Mexican St. Patrick's Day everyone! At the risk of sounding racist - Mexican folks LOVE tamarind. Asians have dog, White people have mayo and cheese sandwiches and Mexicans have spicy foods and tamarind. Spicy Mexican tamarind candy is a favorite treat in school lunches and the tamarind flavor by the Jarritos beverage company is arguably their most popular. But what even is a tamarind? Why is it so popular? Why am I using it as a lame tie-in with Cinco De Mayo even though today's beverage is from Lebanon? Why am I so handsome? MOST of these questions will be answered after today's commercial break:

And we're back. You may remember my Pulitzer prize winning article last December about Christmas in Lebanon where I drank some pomegranate soda from the Kazouza company. Well, I also bought this tamarind soda from the same place and forgot about it for a half year. So why not try it now? So while tamarind is produced mainly in Indian and Asian countries, it is extremely popular in Mexico and is often mixed with salty or spicy flavorings in candy, smoothies or alcoholic beverages. The pod-like plant is known to be very potent and sour on its own and is rarely eaten straight up. Fun fact - it's also one of the secret ingredients in Worcestershire sauce. Not as polarizing as stupid marmite, but it is definitely a fruit that some people love while others simply avoid it at all costs. While I've had the Mexican tamarind candy before, I've never tried Jarritos tamarind soda, Jumex's tamarind nectar or heck, even a tamarind on its own. So what better what to try this elusive fruit that from a carbonated bottle of expired cane sugar and citric acid from Lebanon!

It's a small, nine ounce glass bottle and upon popping the top, there appears to be very little carbonation. It doesn't smell like much of anything, and I obviously have noting to compare it to, so let's just get to the taste. It's alright. Sugary. Syrupy. Sweet. I really should have tried a tamarind first so that I could compare flavors, but it's definitely unlike any other fruit flavored soda I've ever tasted before. If anything, it's a mix between cherry cola and root beer. Not terrible. Well, I'm off to polish off a pallet full of Coronas. Adios!

MAYrathon 2.0 Day 4 - Marmite

Much like my list of sodas I've always wanted to try (I'll get to cross two more off that list this month), I've always had a mental list of strange foods that I've always hoped to run into one day and shove down my gullet. Not because I think they would be necessarily tasty or gross, but just so I could say, "I've tried that." Items like turtle soup, rocky mountain oysters, chocolate covered ants and many more have continued to evade me for years, but today, at my local grocery store, I've finally found the fabled Marmite.

What is Marmite you say? Well it has quite the history and is one of the most polarizing and acquired taste foods out there. Their slogan is even "love it or hate it." It's huge in its native England, Australia (along with Vegemite) and especially in New Zealand where riots broke out when the country once decided to stop carrying it. So here's a brief history lesson. Marmite was invented by accident in 1902 when German chemist, Justus Liebig realized that brewer's yeast from a local brewery could be picked up off the assembly line, concentrated and eaten. With assistance from Bass Brewing Company, Marmite, packed with many vitamins, became a staple in the English diet, and being packed in the Allies' food rations in both World Wars. Not only good for you, but it apparently is extremely effective in keeping mosquitoes away!

This is not a popular spread in America and most people describe the dark black, savory spread as extremely salty and unbearable. It's typically eaten as a spread on toast or rolls or paired with cheese, but to get the full experience, I'm just going all in with a fork. The smell is very yeasty and salty with a bit of a soy sauce afterburn. I got some on the fork and it's very thick with a molasses texture. Well here goes....................whoa. Salty is an understatement. That may be the saltiest thing I have ever put in my mouth. Even saltier than salt which shouldn't even make sense. I immediately need some water. I don't know how anyone would eat this. Wow! Once the saltieness dies down, I'm left with a thick, malty, viscousy, film in my mouth and throat. It's so freaking strong. I'm glad I can cross this off my list, but I will never again eat Marmite. This may rival ketchup and Heineken as the thing I hate the most...

MAYrathon 2.0 Day 3 - Love Potion No. 69

As I get older, it's hard to keep up with the overwhelming demand of being such a macho stud. Luckily, there's a product out there just for people like me - Love Potion No. 69! Subtitled as "An arousing carbonated drink," this concoction is brought to us by The Real Soda Company. The same company that made that Brain Wash soda I had last year that stained my tongue, teeth and soul a dark blue. This soda, obviously a play on the 1992 Sandra Bullock smash hit movie, "Love Potion #9" and definitely not the song, is adorned with various tongue in cheek sayings like, "True love aint cheap;" "helps to keep your heart on;" and "It's a turn on." It's a bright, almost neon purple color and apparently it also comes in pink. Neither colors seem to be any different except in taste or ingredients, and boy oh boy are there some ingredients.

This is not just a silly soda with a cheeky name. It seems as if they are ACTUALLY attempting to make some sort of love tonic. The main selling point is the use of the damiana leaf which is said to increase sexual desire, cure depression and relax the nerves. And that's not all! This small 12oz bottle is said to contain (besides the usual soda ingredients): Siberian ginseng, jasmine, buchu, dill weed, ginkgo biloba, clove, echinacea, kola nut, dong quai, guarana, gotu cola, African capsicum and chamomile. Seriously, all of that in this drink. I couldn't even spell or understand half of those herbs and tonics. This may very well be the cure to all diseases in western medicine! Plus one ingredient uses the word dong, so...it's pretty much implied how great it is. It's time to taste this and then hit the club!

The smell is interesting. Like a herbal purple drink would be the best I could describe it as. It's a familiar scent, but counteracted with all of those bizarre contents giving it a unique flavor unto itself. Let's chug some love potion. It's very sweet with almost no carbonation at all. There's a subtle grape flavor, but again, with all of the odd items mixed in, it is definitely a flavor that exists without comparison. It's like a daily vitamin pill meets a Capri Sun. I actually really dig it. Regardless if it really makes you feel younger, cooler and sexier - it tastes pretty darn good, and that's good enough for me.

Oh, there's one last thing in very small font on the bottle that I just noticed: "Not to be used alone unless you're into self-satisfaction."

Well...............................why waste a day?  

MAYrathon 2.0 Day Two - Tako (Octopus) Chips

Check yo' spelling, son! Some of you probably looked at the title and said, "Taco Chips? Have you gone soft in your old age, Matty Mac?" But no, we're taking a look at TAKO chips, as in octopus flavored chips from the famous Nongshim food company from Seoul, South Korea. Famous because they are one of the most recognizable brands of ramen noodles worshiped by college kids and street tramps alike. As I've stated before, I love octopus, so I am really excited to try these. Let's see what the company's website has to say about this product:

"Tako chips are made from yellow corvina. The fish and flour are combined to create the paste that shapes this delicious snack. Children are especially attracted to the tako shape."

I'm not really sure what to say to that. I guess I'm a little bummed that it doesn't include actual octopus, but I'm guessing yellow corvina is probably a cheap substitute or something. Looking at the

"I hope this becomes an octopus chip one day."

ingredients however, it DOES include both shrimp and octopus powder. I looked online to see what octopus powder is and it literally took me to a link about a potion in a Harry Potter video game: http://harrypotter.wikia.com/wiki/Octopus_Powder

The pink bag with the swimming octopus is cute enough, and apparently the shapes are made to look like fish and octopi/pus/puses.

So it's time to rip open the bag and see what yellow corvina and octopowder smells like. WHEEEW. It smells just like the Asian market where I got these from. It doesn't smell like your typical American corn chip product; this is pure seafood through and through. And it's weird to say, but I can totally smell the octopus in these chips. Let's taste...
It's...different from what I was expecting. The aftertaste is 100% seafood. But other than that, I would say it most resembles a slightly less sweet version of Kix cereal. Really. That's what I get out of this. That was pretty unexpected, but at least it didn't make me throw up corvina, so I'm putting this one in the win column! I'm going to go to the fridge and get the milk.

MAYrathon 2.0 Day One: Delaware Punch

Alright - let's do this. Thirty-one days. Thirty-one weird foods and drinks. One very sick June first. I decided to revisit the MAYrathon as one-third needing a creative outlet to write, one-third to clear space as I prepare to move, and one-third because I paid a ridiculous amount of money on this crap over the years, and regardless of how expired it may be, I am NOT throwing it out! So let's start this one off with a rarity by the Coca-Cola Company known as Delaware Punch.

Much like Ski Soda and Faygo, Delaware Punch is a regional favorite and very hard to find outside of specific areas. It's most popular in Delaware right? NO! You dummy! It's never even been sold in Delaware so cancel your road trip! It's actually named for the Delaware grape, first harvested in Delaware, Ohio, home of the most popular college sports team: The Ohio Wesleyan Battling Bishops! This beverage, coined as a non-carbonated soft drink, was created in 1913 and is a southern favorite in Arkansas, Texas, Louisiana, Guatemala and Mexico. Outside of those five places, it is almost impossible to find outside of the internet. The Candy Carrollton company, where I bought this one, is famous for being the only website to keep it regularly stocked at a reasonable price. Apparently it is banned in most US states because it uses the flavoring agent: allura red, which may or may not increase ADD symptoms in children. As an adult who already has ADD, I think I'll be fine! 

Here's a Matty Mac cosplayer 

The can says it's an artificially flavored punch with no caffeine and is non-carbonated. Weird that it is still considered a soft drink as it has no carbonation, but hey, I don't make the rules, I just break them. So let's dive in to our first MAYrathon treat. It smells faintly of grape, but not overly so. Bottoms up! I had to look it up before commenting and yes, there is a grape Hawaiian Punch in existence. That's exactly what this is in my opinion. It's a fruit punch juice with grape as the dominant flavor. I like it. With 49 grams of sugar in a 12 oz can, I don't like it enough to add it to my regular diet, but it's a nice treat. Like waking up next to a red head and a lottery ticket. Good first day! 

Watch my beard progressively grow throughout the month. 

Ski Soda

It's once again been a long hiatus here at the shack, and I am once again dusting off the old blog and giving it another go. 2017 did not start off well for me, and I've had to deal with a lot of crap, but I am slowly digging my way out of the muck and once again rediscovering things that I love like tasting obscure sodas and yelling obscenities at kids on bikes and jumping through sprinklers in my bikini. It's time to get back into those nostalgic moments that truly made me feel happy. And this one is double the nostalgia because not only is it on the list of classic sodas I've always wanted to try, but it's also one of the very first sodas I attempted to review when I started this blog in 2013. Why did it not happen? Because there were black floaties all over the bottle and it scared the crap out of me, so I pretty much put it out of my mind for a few years. But now, with a fresher bottle and a fresher perspective, I have returned to finally taste - Ski Soda.

Lefty, using his right hand like a prick.

Here's a jerk who LOVES Ski Soda.

Detroit has the Faygo Company and Vernors. Texas has Big Red. Montana has crippling depression. But if you were to travel to southern Illinois, St. Louis or Nashville, they you're in Ski country. It's in every restaurant's fountain machine right next to the big wigs like Pepsi and Coke. It all started when "Lefty" J. Meier used the money he won after foiling a bank robbery to open up his own soda bottling company. Eventually he joined forces with the Double Cola company where the popular Midwest soda is still manufactured today. This caffeinated classic is often compared to Mountain Dew or Mello Yellow, but unlike the two is known for having a distinct lemon, lime AND orange taste. 

Alright, I am excited to try this one as it's been four years in the making. The bottle is a simple green glass with a picture of a girl water skiing next to the large Ski logo. What's very odd is that it doesn't list the ingredients on the bottle. I thought that was a law or something. I don't really care though because I am NOT waiting another four years for this. Let's twist this bottle open and give it a sniff. It smells a bit like Kickapoo Joy Juice or maybe Sun Drop. The taste? Unique. I can see where people compare it to Mountain Dew, but it's very, very different. It's a bit flatter than most sodas, and the orange definitely plays a part in the flavor. I guess if anything, I would compare it to a mix between Kickapoo Joy juice and a flat Mountain Dew Livewire. I don't hate it!

Well, it's good to be back, and you can certainly expect more updates in the near future as I'm moving in a few months and I have a ton of crap that I need to eat/drink/vomit up before then.