So I Went to an Ethnic Market (Five months ago)...(Part Two)...

Ah the old Beverage Shack. A lot of memories here. It's so good that I've kept up not only with good facial hygiene, but also with this blog. Why 2014 has sure had its share of blog-related laughs hasn't it folks? Let's take a look back at my last post dated...January 29th? Hmmm. Well I'm sure I had some sort of explanation for my long absence; what does my last sentence of that post say? "See you next week for more ethnic treats!" Okay think, Matty. You can fix this. Just tell a little fib and go on like nothing ever happened.


Hey everyone! Wow that Daylight Savings Time sure can throw things off am I right? Well a week has gone by and like I promised, we're here to explore more delicious ethnic beverages I recently (I hope they're not expired) purchased at Ishtar Ethnic foods in Novi, Michigan. Without further ado, let's delve into two more foreign fizzy flavors of...uh...fun?

#3 - Kazouza's Lemon Mint Sparking Fruit Drink

Wow what a shelf life!

This light green contraption comes to us all the way from everyone's favorite vacation destination: Zakroun, Lebanon. What really caught my attention here was the flavor. It seems like such an obvious and refreshing combination, but I don't think I've ever had it. I know I've had cocktails and even water muddled with the two ingredients, but never a soda. I was intrigued and honestly, when have the Lebanese ever let anyone down? Have they? I know nothing about politics. Anyway. Looking at the ingredients shows that it's made from cane sugar which is always a bonus and comes packed with Esters of Wood Rosins. Esters...of Wood...Rosins. You know what, I'm not even going to look it up because I am terrified to learn what that could possibly be. Ignorance is bliss Mr. Kazouza. Let's crack this bad boy open and give it a sniff. (sniff) And it smells like toothpaste. EXACTLY like toothpaste. But how does it taste? Thankfully not like toothpaste. It's actually pretty good. I definitely taste the lemon, the mint and the wood rosins. This is a really refreshing summer-type drink. I'd say it's pretty much the Lebanese non-alcoholic version of a mojito. Not bad at all!



#4 - Legendary Uludag Gazoz
Now I know what you're thinking, "Oh my God! Did you really get your hands on THE legendary Uludag Gazoz!?!?" Yes, as unbelievable as it may sound, I have obtained a bottle of the most legendary Turkish orange soda in the history of mankind. It glistens with perfection as my unworthy eyes are drawn to its awesome mountains and vague 1930 dated label. Not to mention the truly epic 4% REAL orange juice in every bottle. And, oh my, such off-the-charts ingredients as "flavoring", "coloring" and "CO2." I truly don't know if I am noble enough to bathe my taste buds in such mythical product. Tis as if Santa Claus himself squeezed out the carbonated soda from Jesus's orange juice machine. Well, I've come this far - I may as well partake in some Gazoz. (puts undeserving lips to heavenly nectar) It's...It's...IT'S...flat Orange Fanta. Legendary my ass.

Well it's good to be back in the shack once again. Tune in next week (I promise this time) where I take a look at what can only be described as a Harry Potter soda ripoff.

So I went to an Ethnic Market...(Part One)

So while I was home in Michigan over Christmas break, I happened across an Ethnic Food Store. At least I think I did. This was literally the only picture I could find online of the place, and they have no social media presence or web presence, so it's very possible I was tripping on mushrooms and just robbed a Greek family of all their sodas. But it can't be true because I was there dammit! And it was...ethnicy? I don't really know what ethnicity you have to be in order to fall under the label of ethnic at Novi, Michigan's Ishtar Ethnic Food Store. There was sushi next to the challah, Jesus candles next to the shawarma, and I'm pretty sure I saw a Mexican guy eating vegemite while high-fiving a Somali woman. So I guess ethnic at this place pretty much means - nothing mainstream America. Which means I was in for a treat when I got to the beverage section. What follows is my three part series chronicling the six "ethnic" beverages I found in a land far, far away...from my parents' house. 

#1 - Shahia's Premium Fruit Nectar: Cocktail Flavor

This one comes to us from the ethnic land of Egypt and distributed from the even more ethnic land of Dearborn, Michigan. I tried to look up Shahia's beverage company online, but all I got was results written in Egyptian and a link to join some guy's Linkedin profile. So we're taking a shot in the dark with this one. What caught my eye about this particular soda was the name. Now obviously it's probably meant to taste like fruit cocktail, but all of the other juices by Shahia were given fruit names: strawberry, cherry, etc. This one was simply called cocktail, and not only do names like that make me giggle like a schoolgirl, but I was intrigued by it's cocktailly siren's song. So let's crack it open and drink some cocktail. (bottoms up). What strikes me at first is just how overwhelmingly sweet and thick it is. It's like the leftover juice sludge at the bottom of a can of fruit, but ten times more dense and sweet. This 8oz glass of syrup water has 15 grams of sugar in it! But does it taste like fruit cocktail? No...it taste like guava. Just guava. Not guava and other flavors to bring forth the guise of a fruit cocktail but just guava. And sugar. Lots of sugar...

#2 - Sparkling Vimto: Fruit Flavored Drink

I don't really know what I'm getting myself into with this one. Vimto was freaking everywhere in this store. There were about a hundred different flavors, sizes and even merchandise for this soda. I don't know why it was so popular in an ethnic market, and this can is all in French, so I had to go to the internet for more info. So like most fizzy beverages invented in the 1800s, this was originally made as a health tonic. And much like other crazy sodas I've tried recently, it's traveled around the globe. The soda itself is manufactured in England. This particular can was then sent to Quebec, Canada only to be imported by Cicero, Illinois and finally to the doorstep of Ishtar Ethnic Foods. So many hands have touched my can of Vimto that I may cry. I also may die as this little 12 oz can of mystery has 46 grams of sugar!  After this and the Cocktail drink, I'm going to need to donate my blood to a slurpee machine. Vimto is said to be a carbonated beverage with the juice extract of grapes, raspberries and blackcurrants, along with herbs, spices and uh...acidity regulator. Huh? Alright, enough stalling, let's Vimto! I just smelled it...it's totally Faygo Rock and Rye - quite possibly the tastiest and Michigan exclusiveiest (?) pop on the planet. Vimto - I think I love you. Thanks for the sugar coma. See you next week for more ethnic treats!