I'm no where near mentally prepared for this. I took a gamble on a few close to expiring sodas, but all were still fairly fresh. This one I KNOW is expired...and may or may not contain cream. Plus it's from Asia, which my track record of Asian beverages has been far from stellar. So this is Melon Creamy Soda. Those three words should never exist in the same state let alone the same beverage. This massive 16.5 ounce aluminum can is declared to be "tasty" and "Quality from UCC." I'm avoiding looking up what the UCC is because I'm guessing it has something to do with squid organs. The Japanese symbols also translate to: "It's tasty and refreshing! Always makes you feel fresh and cool." Don't tell me how to feel, cream melons. A look at the ingredients reveals, oh well great, Evaporated Skimmed Milk. So this is literally a milk pop. A definitely expired milk pop. What the hell am I doing with my life?
I had to pour this one in a glass before I drank it just to see what the texture is.
And there you have it - a carbonated, snot-green, cloudy cream soda. It looks like if Ecto Cooler and a Diner dairy creamer fell into a Soda Stream. Alright, I've stalled long enough - it's time to do this for my millions of made up fans! The first sip tastes like milk. The second sip tastes like spoiled melon someone left out on the surface of the sun. The third sip tastes like a thick, bubbly vanilla shake that has AIDS.
Nope. That's it. I'm done with this one. 0.5 out of five Santa hats. It only gets a 0.5 because I got to use "milk pop" in a sentence for the first time. I'm going to go lay in the bathtub and reflect on some life choices for the next 18 hours...
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