Summit Brewing Company: Winter Sampler

Well Happy Holidays from all of us (just me) here at Matty Mac's Beverage Shack and welcome to a special holiday edition where I'll be giving my two cents on Summit Brewing Company's Winter Sampler Pack. I went to the store today with the plan of getting a Christmas sampler pack of beers to enjoy as I start to look toward Christmas vacation. The problem is, I've already had the Sam Adams, Leinenkugel, and Blue Moon Christmas offerings in the past, and there weren't many other offerings in the holiday variety. I scoured my local Binny's in search of a rare treat to showcase to all of my fans (just me), and hidden way in the back of the cooler, like new fallen snow on a winter's morn, was the Summit Winter Sampler. Now, and this is true, when I grabbed the box and fat-guy hustled to the cash register, I really didn't bother to look at what beers were actually offered in the pack. I'm used to creatively titled and original winter ales named after classic Charles Dickens characters or full of words like fireside, snow drift and elf wang, but upon looking at the four different beers offered in this collection, I was enraged by the gall this company had in calling this a winter collection. But since I already bought it and already dusted off my Santa hat, let's Bah Humbug our way through this collection of Christmas mediocrity.

Beer #1 - Extra Pale Ale

When it's the holiday season and the stockings are hung by the chimney with care. After all the wrapping of gift cards (because I'm not creative or caring) is complete, I like to sit back and relax by the fire with a cold bottle of Summit...Extra...Pale...Ale. Yep. Pretty sure I can get this on July 4th too. Nothing says Christmas like an orange bottle with a picture of hops on it. Sigh...not even a clever joke like: HOPing you have a Merry Christmas. This is worse than nothing. Ok enough whining, let's take a sip......It's fine. Tastes like a pale ale. Nice hoppy taste and an strong (in a good way) aftertaste. Something that would be great raking leaves in September or sitting around a bonfire in July. Nothing really unique about it at all.  Taste - 3.5/5   Holiday Festiveness - 0/5

Beer #2 - India Pale Ale

Do they celebrate Christmas in India? That would be the only tie-in with Christmas in our next sampling.
Now don't get me wrong, I love IPAs. I'm what's known as a hop-head. Someone who really likes hoppy beer. And maybe one day I'll review my favorite IPAs, but today, it's all about Christmas! And this bottle is...the same, except that it's blue. Really festive Summit. (taste) It doesn't really taste like an IPA; the extra pale ale was actually more hoppy, so they failed me on both accounts. I have nothing else to say about this one; I'm going to take a break and stand under the mistletoe at the old folks home until I get someone to notice my, um, candy cane. Taste - 2/5  Holiday Festiveness - 0/5

Beer #3 - Horizon Red Ale

It's red so Christmas? NO! Of course not. It's another beer you can get anytime you want. This one is brewed with "exceptional American hops," so it must be a holiday treat even the Grinch couldn't pass up. (taste) Well, I do like the taste. It's matly, hoppy and not too overpowering. And it's red, so I'm going to just say it's a Christmas beer. Ugh, who am I kidding, I hate you Summit, and you hate Christmas!  Taste - 4/5 Holiday Festiveness - 1/5

Beer #4 - Winter Ale

What? Doth mine eyes deceive me? WINTER ALE? So what makes in a winter ale? Does the bottle give me an interesting description of how this beer was brewed with reindeer souls in the north pole? Nope. It's the same stupid bottle, but this time it's brown. Christmas brown? Well it's the closest I'm going to get to a holiday treat with this collection, so let's give it a try. It tastes like Sam Adams. That's it. No nutmeg. No Candy Cane. No carolers wassailing while I drink. This has been a disaster. I have eight beers left, and I'm going to go stand on my porch and chuck them at homeless people while I eat snicker doodles. Taste - 2/5 Holiday Festiveness - 1.5/5

 From all of us at the beverage shack (still just me), Merry Christmas and happy holidays to you and yours!

Teriyaki Soda

OK who hasn't had this thought: you're drinking an ice cold Pepsi. Sure it's good and a flavor you've come to rely on, but it could really use more Asian sauce condiment. Well my friend, do I have the beverage for you! It's Teriyaki soda brought to you by...uh...company unknown. It has a distributor on the label, but that's about it. Apparently it's one of the many "ramune" sodas popular in Japan and known for it's distinct bottle and marble-sealed glass bottles. I kinda wish I would have looked up this stuff before I tried to open the bottle earlier which, because it was such a task, I made a video just on the challenges of opening the ramune bottle. Check it out at the bottom of this review. Well, I've been screwed by China's claim to beverage deliciousness, so let's see what Japan has to offer.

Smell/First Sip:
Because I go into a lot of detail in the video, I'm going to skip my usual discussion on the appearance of the bottle. But if your someone who hates my voice and just likes my smooth typin' style, let me sum it up for you: it has a stupid marble and took me four minutes to open. Moving on...let's go in for a smell. Well, I gotta be honest, it smells like teriyaki sauce. I also gotta be honest once more - I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Let's give it a go. Ok first of all, this bottle is so stupid. I have to put my entire mouth over the giant blue thing to get to the tiny hole in the center (no dick jokes please). All the while, this dumbass marble is just jauntily rocking back and forth as I drink. I DON'T GET IT RAMUNE!!! And it's six ounces, so I'm halfway through the bottle after my first sip. But what does it taste like? As it touches your toungue it's a sweet tang, so you swallow thinking that everything is cool. Then the aftertaste hits you and all you can taste is...McNuggets. Yep. This is a soda that tastes like McNuggets. I think I'm going to go cry tears of grease for a few hours.

Overall:
I said it tastes like McNuggets. DON'T DRINK THIS!