Soda Shaq: Strawberry Cream Soda

7-11 And Shaq are currently in the midst of a marketing campaign with Arizona Iced Tea, bringing us the Soda Shaq. Four cream sodas that will likely last as long as Hulk Hogan's Pastamania. 

I get the draw. Shaq is a popular big man, and Arizona is known for their big 99 cent cans of  kinda-sorta tea (Is there no cent symbol on a keyboard? Am I just stupid and can't find it?) And 7-11 is not shy in marketing these monstrosities: the floors, doors and ceilings are covered with promotion for Shaq's latest in his quest to have more money than Uruguay. But regardless of over-marketing and the “Shaqtimidation” that forces a regular schlub like me into having to try one, the question remains, how does it taste?

Appearance - I went with the strawberry flavor over the blueberry, vanilla and orange options. I had already tried orange and hated it, but I guess I'm a glutton for punishment. The can is huge, the same size as the rest of Arizona's value brand cans, and is adorned with useless Shaq facts such as his shoe size and field goal percentage. The can also lets you know over and over that is in All Natural. Using such delicious natural ingredients as natural strawberry flavor, honey and vegetable juice. Because when I think strawberry, I think radishes.

Value – 

A large 23.5 oz can with everyone's favorite video game hero, Shaq-Fu, for only 99 cents is a pretty

great deal. Without having tried it, I definitely don't think it was a waste of money for this much soda.

Smell/First Sip -

What the hell am I drinking? Is this strawberry milk soda? Is this Faygo Red Pop mixed with dairy creamer? Is this Fruity milk cola? I don't know how to describe it other than – milky. It actually smells quite a bit like strawberry, but the last thing I want in my soda is fizzy cream.

Drinkability -

There's...so...much...soda. Every time I go for another sip of this Goliath can, it feels like I haven't even made a dent towards finishing it. It's just sitting here with the stupid photo of Shaq sticking his tongue out at me; a perfect analogy for how anyone would feel trying to finish this creamed concoction of crap (Alliteration = three points!). And it gets worse too because as the can gets warmer, the milky flavor starts to overpower the strawberry, making it taste like fruity pebbles milk after sitting out for six hours on the surface of the sun.

Chance of Re-drinking - 

Zero. I already had two of the four flavors and have yet to be impressed. The remaining flavors are vanilla and blueberry. I hate blueberry flavoring, and I can't imagine the vanilla will taste like anything other than bubbly cheap ice cream. It's July right now. If this crap is still for sale in September, then I will force myself to try the other two, but the good money says I'll be free and clear of that bet.

So overall, Soda Shaq Strawberry Cream Soda was a dud. I hope you guys enjoyed my little rant; coming up next, Blue Moon attempts to sell me their Brewmaster's collection. I'll be the judge of that, “Master.”