"Fan" Submissions - Jolly Rancher and Martian Poop Sodas

July 9th, 2013. Exactly three years ago, I started this little blog dedicated to trying and reviewing exotic and weird sodas, juices and foods. It's not something I ever kept a regular schedule on and definitely not, even though others have tried to push me towards it, something I did for monetary value or fame. It's just a little creative outlet where I can combine my love of writing and my love of sodas. I obviously didn't think I'd still be doing it three years later, and as time goes by, I find myself interested in perhaps getting the word out there more, perhaps learning to edit video and maybe even create a regular schedule with some cash bonus. But for now, I enjoy my little mini "fan base" I've collected. Friends and family have seemed to enjoy what I do on here and I've even collected a few treasures along the way from the soda pop pillow from my mom to the awesome coasters with my website from my godmother. I've also gotten plenty of requests and even, on a rare occasion, some submissions. Which brings me to where we are today with my first ever "fan" submission. Fan is in quotes because let's be honest, they're just friends who have probably taken pity on my terrible existence...let's drink!

  Jolly Rancher Soda: Blue Raspberry

This first one comes from a former student who graduated this year, Anisa. She had asked me if I liked Jolly Ranchers one day, to which I replied that I did but typically choose not to eat them. You see folks, not only have I been blessed with short stature, a flabby physique, webbed toes and a graying beard, but I've also been gifted with a small throat! Thank you, Jeebus. Basically, anytime I attempt to eat a hard candy, it almost always finds its way "down the wrong tube" and I end up gagging. jolly ranchers to me are like sunlight to vampires. However, she wasn't talking about the candy but the soda. "There's a Jolly Rancher Soda?" I said in disbelief. And the rest is history. It's been in my fridge for about a month now and I'm finally ready to check it out. My favorite flavors were always the Green Apple or the Spicy Cinnamon ones. I'm sure I've had the blue many times as a kid, but I can't recall exactly what it tasted like. Then I open the bottle and give it a sniff and my memory is suddenly jolted back to life. It smells just like a blue Jolly Rancher I remember from childhood. I had forgotten that smell for probably twenty years. (Going in for a sip). Oh man that is awesome. That's probably the best blue soda I've ever had. It's really fresh and actually goes out of its way to TASTE like the candy its based on. I really like that. Apparently they DO have the green apple and cinnamon flavors out there too, so I'll be keeping my eyes open for those. Very tasty! 

Martian Poop

Martian...Poop? Why? How? Why is it so green? Aren't martians themselves supposed to be green? Do they poop themselves out? Am I overthinking this entirely? Yes. So here's what I know. This comes to me from my best friend Bryan who knows of my affinity for weird sodas. This comes from the Marian Sodas line of beverages from Rocket Fizz. Basically they take less popular fruit flavors, make them into a soda and for some reason make them space themed. I've had two before: kumquat and plum, and they were both very tasty. But this one is based off a flavor I've never head of before - marionberry. (Apparently spell check has never heard of it either.) So before I open up this neon pink concoction with green poop on the label, let's take a trip to Wiki town and do a little research. 

So from what I could gather by trying to read with my fourth grade intelligence, is that a marionberry is a form of blackberry that was genetically created by Oregon State University. It's some sort of hybrid that isn't even supposed to exist. Much like...a martian??? I see what you did there Martian Poop. It's apparently also the source of controversy in Oregon because some want to name it the state berry while others continue supporting the current state berry, the kotata andzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, who the hell cares? Let's crack it open! It really is the pinkest soda I've ever seen. It's lightly carbonated and smells of vague fruits I guess. Let's have a taste. (gulp) That's interesting. It has a very vague blackberry taste but its not the domnating flavor. Dare I say cotton candy? Ruby red grapefruit? Alien excrement? It's arguably probably the sweetest thing I've ever put in my mouth too, and that's saying something! Well done martians; your poop is lovely and when we colonize your planet, I know what I'll be eating while those other idiots are chewing on sardine paste. 

Well it's been a fun three years and I look forward to the next three. Thanks for your support, polite chuckles and for only hating me behind my back. If you have any suggestions for things I should try or want to be the next "fan" to submit something for me to drink so you don't have to, let me know!

Hi-C Ecto Cooler

Boy, are we living during a great era to be a nostalgia geek. With the power of the internet, passionate fans have been able to resurrect TV shows, bring back popular snacks and cereals, and revive long cancelled sodas and juices. I honestly never thought I would taste a Surge again in my life, and now i can walk down the street to 7-11 and pick up a can! After Surge, my go-to beverage as a kid was definitely Ecto Cooler. While Surge may have been popular in my early to late teenage years, Ecto Cooler was around for pretty much my entire childhood - ironically being cancelled in 2001, the year I graduated from high school. 

A brief history of the stuff: Hi-C originally made a deal with the Real Ghostbusters TV show back in 1987 as a product tie-in. What most people probably don't know is that it was just a re-branding of an already existing flavor, Citrus Cooler. While only meant to last for a year, the flavor proved to be so popular that it long outlasted the cartoon it was based on. Ghostbuster mascot, Slimer, would stay on as the "face" of Ecto Cooler well into the 90s. As a kid, my favorite version of Ecto Cooler came in these giant metal cans that my parents had to use a can opener to open up. It was a big hit at any birthday party and regardless of your opinion on the Ghostbusters cartoon or movies, everyone loved the it. When it was cancelled in 2001, I don't remember if I was really aware of it or not. By then I was 18 and didn't spend too much time with Hi-C, Capri Sun, or any of those types of juices anymore. It was only in the last few years as my love of 90s nostalgia grew that I remembered my fondness for that green liquid gold. I read articles on how people had made their own formula, made Ecto Cooler candles, and petitioned a great deal to get it back in stores to no avail. Then as news of a new Ghostbusters movie starting floating around on the internet, it was announced that for a limited time in 2016, Ecto Cooler would be back!

Which brings us to today when my package finally came in the mail. Now, "limited time" is a VERY accurate statement. It's been almost impossible to get, major retailers are not carrying it, and it doesn't seem that Hi-C plans to make it a major release any time soon. Unlike Surge, this is a very rare item going for upwards of $100 for a case on eBay. Although I really wanted the 12 oz cans, I was lucky to find anything on Amazon and found a fairly decent deal on a ten pack of juice boxes. I will never tell my mother how much I paid for juice boxes because she'd probably disown me, but I just had to have it, dammit!!

The packaging has the "Ghostbusters Only in Theaters" everywhere, and surprisingly no Slimer. It's just a green case with some oranges and tangerines on it with some green slime oozing down. Nice and simple. I've also forgotten how small a juice box is; I'm pretty sure I could kill this thing in two gulps. Certainly not a health drink - 21 grams of sugar and 7% of your daily carbs in this little 6oz can. Alright, I've talked enough - I can wait no longer! Straw inserted. It's been at least 15 years since I've tasted an Ecto Cooler. Here...we...go...

Oh man! It's exactly as I remember. From the taste to the sound the straw makes, I am 10 years old again! This is awesome. I have to hide these from myself so I can ration them off otherwise I will drink them all right now. This is every fat 90s kid's dream come true. I'm going to go watch the old X-Men cartoon, get out my slap bracelet and drink another box. Surge - check. Ecto Cooler - check. Now if Pepsi would just bring Josta back, my 90s trilogy would be complete! A boy can dream...