Season Two - A Trip to the World Market (Part Two)

Wow I actually managed two posts in two weeks - my personal best since 2013. I'm a really swell guy. Anyway, we're moving on to the next two sodas I purchased from my visit to the World Market. Did I mention that this particular World Market is located inside a Bed, Bath and Beyond? It's hard not to hold your head in shame while the lady behind to you is buying diapers and a dog leash while I'm holding up the line to buy meat sodas. I'm a really swell guy.

Today we look at two pops from the Cicero Beverage Company located right here in Chicago, Illinois. Upon a glance at their website, I discover they are an award winning beverage company with such "prestigious" awards as: Anthony's Root Beer Barrel (94/100), Eric's Gourmet Root Beer Seal of Approval and 3rd Place at the Homer Soda Festival. You know what, Cicero? I won a good sportsmanship trophy award for being a crappy bowler in 7th grade but you don't see me bragging about it! Although...I could use some bragging; I should find that trophy. Well the sodas that won all the awards are not the two I am going to try today because I didn't know the other ones were the cool ones. I went with the reject emo kid sodas. Let's give 'em a whirl.

Chocolate Hazelnut
This one is going to be a crap-shoot for me. I hate Nutella but enjoy a coffee with hazelnut flavoring, so it's up in the air. Let's crack it open.

It's heavily carbonated, and some bubbles have now found a home in the crevasses of my keyboard. And it smells like hazelnut...like strongly like hazelnut. (takes a sip). Okay...so...if you're not an experienced soda aficionado like me and you try to drink this...you'll die. It tastes fine; that's not the issue (chocolate and hazelnut just like advertised), it's just so carbonated that you will choke and die if you drink this. I'm serious! I took three big swigs and it was like 2/4 air, 1/4 fizz and 1/4 actual liquid. It does the fizzy mambo #5 in your mouth as you try and swallow it before it comes out your nose.  I've burped 96 times in the last three minutes.  That's all I can take of that one. NEXT!

Every sip is this poster

Candied Bacon
I was excited for this one, but after the carbonation domination of the last Cicero soda, I'm nervous. This is oddly enough my third time having a pop made to taste like the ass of a pig. The first was a chocolate maple soda that I had years ago, and the second was a straight bacon flavor. This will be my first "candied" bacon soda. I crack this one open and there's not cavalcade of bubbles escaping, so that's a good sign. It smells like 90% pancakes and 10% Spam. Yay?

Let's do this. (sips)................................................................................................................................ So you ever drink an iced coffee and ask the waiter for a scone? He informs you that while they're out of scones, they do have plenty of strips of raw bacon. So you settle dipping some raw bacon in your coffee and oops, dropped the bacon right in the mug. Oh darn! So then you use a bottle of syrup and a gallon of sugar cubes to fish the bacon out? I know, I know, we've all been there! Well that's what this tastes like - sugarbaconcoffeesyrup. I think I'm going to take a trip to Eric's Gourmet Root Beer and demand he removes his seals of approval. I knew I couldn't get two weeks in a row of good tasting stuff! Well next week I get to try something that supposedly tastes like Hello Kitty. Stay tuned.

So...Much...Carbonation

Season Two - A Trip to the World Market (Part One)

Well it's been roughly a year of neglect, but after a random trip to a store called World Market, where the abundance of weird sodas called to me like a siren's song, I've decided to dust off the old blog and return to what I do best/worst - trying crappy sodas for my own amusement. New year. New apartment. Same old awful jokes that would make a fourth grader roll their eyes. Welcome to Season Two!




Jones Soda's Peanut Butter and Jelly 
I grew up on Jones Soda. It was like that special treat you found at some fancy coffee shop where your parents would fork up an extra three bucks for delicious sugary treats such as Fufu Berry or Blue Bubblegum. I always had a case of Green Apple stocked in my fridge during college. Plus they were made with pure cane sugar! Which at the time meant nothing other than to slap someone's Pepsi One out of their hands for having lame high fructose corn syrup instead of the CANE! Oddly enough, this was the only offering from Jones at the World Market and by far one of the strangest. Upon reading the bottle it looks as this is a limited edition release meant to "honor the basic workhorse lunch of lunches." I took a gander at the ingredients and saw no bread, peanut butter nor jelly. However much to my delight, it includes such delicacies as...artificial flavors, potassium sorbate and calcium disodium edta. Yea! Potassium and calcium in one wholesome drink, take THAT vegetables! The liquid in the bottle has a purplish tint to it which makes me guess they're going for peanut butter and grape jelly. I crack it open and it REALLY smells just like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich! OK, no more farting around; let's take a sip. (guzzle guzzle). Wow - my hat's off to you Jones Soda. This is fantastic. It's not like the time I tried peanut butter pop and it tasted like like sugared salt or the time I tried Caffeine Free diet coke and it tasted like butt-hole, no this actually tastes like the product it claims to be! I don't know if I could drink more than one without dying of a sorbate overdose, but I am impressed. It's nice to restart this blog with an actual good tasting soda for a change! Well that's it for today; join me next time as I try a twofer from Chicago's own Cicero Beverage Company.

Oh, and here's what my "fortune" under my bottle cap said. So...all you zesty ladies out there should give me a call and we'll go solve world hunger or eat a candy bar - whichever comes first.