MAYrathon 2.0 Day 20 - Pac-Man Power Up Energy Drink

Really quick one today. I am off to the casino with my brother and need to get a little caffeine boost before hitting the road. Which brings me to today's drink - Pac-Man Power Up Energy Drink. Now I've seen, and tasted, a few of these video game celebrity endorsed drinks before. There's Sonic, Mario, Street Fighter, Donkey Kong, etc. And they all come from the same company - The Boston American Corp. I have a feeling they all taste the same too. Like a generic Red Bull most likely.

Well let's get right to it cuz I gotta get on the road. I crack it open and, yep, it smells like a generic red bull. Taste? Energy Drink flavor. That's all I can describe it as. It's an easily crushable 8 oz can and it's not awful, but nothing exciting. People buy these kinds of products because of the celebrity and not the taste. Just ask Hulk Hogan and his Pastamania.

MAYrathon Day 29: Jack Black's Dead Red Root Beer

Yep. That's me. I'm probably about 19 in that photo. I was unsuccessfully trying to grow a beard and trying to pose for cool guy photos hoping no one would notice that giant mystery stain on my shirt. And check out that sweet digital watch too. What a lady killer I was! The reason I'm showing you this picture, besides as a gift to the ladies, is to hearken you back to an era that would change my life forever. At the turn on the century, I was working at a movie theater; I worked their on and off before, during and after college. It was around that time that a spry, portly and manic comedian named Jack Black began taking the world by storm in both movies and music with his band, Tenacious D. It was this time, as movies like Shallow Hal and Orange County came out, that I was reminded every day by strangers and friends that I remind them of Jack Black. At first it was flattering; a lot better than being told I remind them of John Candy or Milton Berle. But soon, especially while working at the movie theater, it became a daily annoyance. A day didn't go by without being told "you remind me of that guy..." or "Dude, you're just like whats-his-name, from that movie, you know!" And Jack Black wasn't just a flash in the pan either. Soon he was headlining blockbuster movies, playing music venues everywhere, lending his voice to video games and cartoons, and even a line of skincare products! (See photo below). It seemed like there was only one place I could escape Jack Black mania was my last great love - soda pop. Until there came a time where I discovered Jack Black's Dead Red Root Beer, and I finally had to give in to the madness. 

Seriously, beard and skincare products! I got this as a Christmas gift this year!

I'm going to say right off the bat that this is NOT a fresh bottle of Dead Red Root Beer. I don't know if that will affect the taste or not, but I'm going for it anyway. I haven't been able to find an official website or anything, but there does appear to be another pop in the line, Blood Red Cola. Something to look for if I survive this one. The label features a skull and crossbones and all types of Jack Black type sayings about the root beer such as: "Third time available in 420 Years," "Once you've had Jack Black, you'll never go back," and Better dead read than just plan dead." I don't know what the target market is here. stoner, horny skeletons? One thing interesting to note is that unlike most Root Beers (except Barq's; it has bite), this one has caffeine. Like lots of caffeine. 

Let's try some Jack Black, eh? It smells a whole lot like Root Beer. The carbonation is pretty much gone and it's really flat. I think I may have let this one sit on the shelf for a bit too long. It's hard to really make any type of comment or review on it because it's clearly past it's prime. A shame too; I was looking forward to trying it. Maybe next time, JB! 

MAYrathon Day 15: Popeye Energy - Clobberin' Clementine

I'm tired; this extra long week really kicked my ass. I really looked forward to having this Sunday off to accomplish some things, but I've just been sitting and staring like a sleepy zombie for the last several hours. I need something to really jolt me into action. I need SPINACH! Or at least an energy drink based on a guy who eats spinach! It's Popeye Energy. My feelings on Popeye have always been - he exists. I never loved him and I never hated him. He's certainly been around for awhile, and the chubby burger guy was sorta funny, but much like "The Simpsons," I feel like it's past its prime. However, I'll still drink his celebrity endorsed soda that I shelled out an extra four bucks for!

Here's what the can says on the back: "Strong to the finish! When you've had all ya can stands and ya can't stands no more, grab some of me bestest energy blend and get back in tha' ring!" That was a real test of my sanity to try and type in Popeye's atrocious grammar. I looked online and there are apparently four different unique flavors of Popeye energy, all made to spoken of with a mourh full of marbles. There's Bruiser Blackberry, Anchorin' Apple, 'Low Me Down Lemon Mint, and the one I picked up, Clobberin' Clementine. There are so many red spelling error messages popping up online right now. It's not ME internet, It's POPEYE!!! Anyway, I chose this one (actually I didn't even see the other three flavors) because I've never had a clementine flavored pop or energy drink, so it definitely spoke to me. The can also goes on to say that it "contains 70% juice, natural caffeine, nothing artificial and an excellent source of vitamins B and C." I'm impressed that it has 70% juice; that's pretty high for an energy drink. Finally, they recommend two cans per day which...I'd like to see the doctor who would advise that.

So let's try this Bluto Bustin' Beverage. I open it up and it's got a great citrus scent. I take a few sips and...well blow me down! It's pretty damn delicious. For an energy drink, it's clean, crisp, refreshing and not bitter like a Red Bull or Monster. I would 100% buy this again. And I'm already feeling more awake and refreshed. Time to go think about doing laundry some more!

Soda Shaq: Strawberry Cream Soda

7-11 And Shaq are currently in the midst of a marketing campaign with Arizona Iced Tea, bringing us the Soda Shaq. Four cream sodas that will likely last as long as Hulk Hogan's Pastamania. 

I get the draw. Shaq is a popular big man, and Arizona is known for their big 99 cent cans of  kinda-sorta tea (Is there no cent symbol on a keyboard? Am I just stupid and can't find it?) And 7-11 is not shy in marketing these monstrosities: the floors, doors and ceilings are covered with promotion for Shaq's latest in his quest to have more money than Uruguay. But regardless of over-marketing and the “Shaqtimidation” that forces a regular schlub like me into having to try one, the question remains, how does it taste?

Appearance - I went with the strawberry flavor over the blueberry, vanilla and orange options. I had already tried orange and hated it, but I guess I'm a glutton for punishment. The can is huge, the same size as the rest of Arizona's value brand cans, and is adorned with useless Shaq facts such as his shoe size and field goal percentage. The can also lets you know over and over that is in All Natural. Using such delicious natural ingredients as natural strawberry flavor, honey and vegetable juice. Because when I think strawberry, I think radishes.

Value – 

A large 23.5 oz can with everyone's favorite video game hero, Shaq-Fu, for only 99 cents is a pretty

great deal. Without having tried it, I definitely don't think it was a waste of money for this much soda.

Smell/First Sip -

What the hell am I drinking? Is this strawberry milk soda? Is this Faygo Red Pop mixed with dairy creamer? Is this Fruity milk cola? I don't know how to describe it other than – milky. It actually smells quite a bit like strawberry, but the last thing I want in my soda is fizzy cream.

Drinkability -

There's...so...much...soda. Every time I go for another sip of this Goliath can, it feels like I haven't even made a dent towards finishing it. It's just sitting here with the stupid photo of Shaq sticking his tongue out at me; a perfect analogy for how anyone would feel trying to finish this creamed concoction of crap (Alliteration = three points!). And it gets worse too because as the can gets warmer, the milky flavor starts to overpower the strawberry, making it taste like fruity pebbles milk after sitting out for six hours on the surface of the sun.

Chance of Re-drinking - 

Zero. I already had two of the four flavors and have yet to be impressed. The remaining flavors are vanilla and blueberry. I hate blueberry flavoring, and I can't imagine the vanilla will taste like anything other than bubbly cheap ice cream. It's July right now. If this crap is still for sale in September, then I will force myself to try the other two, but the good money says I'll be free and clear of that bet.

So overall, Soda Shaq Strawberry Cream Soda was a dud. I hope you guys enjoyed my little rant; coming up next, Blue Moon attempts to sell me their Brewmaster's collection. I'll be the judge of that, “Master.”