MAYrathon Day 5: Biotta Celery Root Juice

Alright, this is going to be a bit of a quickie. One because I got home late after working a fifteen hour day. And two - there's absolutely nothing good I can say about today's selection: Celery Root Juice. Let's just be real for a minute - did anyone even know celery came from a root? I guess I always figured it just kinda showed up next to the peanut butter and cream cheese as an uninvited guest. I've had a piece of celery string stuck in my freaking teeth since the Reagan administration. Celery SUCKS. Once I make my millions as a successful blogger, I plan to spend all that money eliminating celery from the face of the earth. If you like celery, go to your Facebook and unfriend me...and then move to China so you don't ever had to accidentally run into me in the street because I will find you and tell you how stupid celery is for the better part of an hour.

So celery - sucks (didn't I just tell you this?). celery root juice - obviously going to suck. A bottle of celery root juice with floaties in it and the color consistency of copper dirt - the devil's cocktail. I'm going to pour this one in a glass just to get the full "experience."

Is that you, peanut butter soda?

And HOO-RAY! It doesn't smell like dirt like I thought it would; it smells like spoiled tomato soup and parsley - what a treat! 

No....just no. I literally couldn't get it to go down my throat. I tried three times. I'm going to bed...and probably to hell. 

Dr. Brown's Cel-Ray Soda

If you've been to a Panera Bread in your lifetime, chances are you've seen Dr. Brown's soda. The Black Cherry and Root Beer are fairly common flavors and quite tasty, but their most popular and rarest (oxymoron?) is the Cel-Ray soda, a soda derived from the extract of celery seeds. I did a little research, and the good doctor has been pumping out this celery flavored tonic since 1869 and was originally developed to give nutrients to immigrant children. Why not just give them some celery? Because science. Apparently this particular soda was so popular among the New York Jewish community in the 1930s that it became known as "Jewish Champagne." There's a lot of history involved in a soda based on something that only tastes good with cream cheese slathered on it. Today, unless you're in New York or Florida, you'll find it pretty hard to stumble across a bottle of Cel-Ray. But is it worth seeking out?

Appearance:

Well it's green, which...I guess...means celery. We're reminded twice that this beverage has been around since 1869, and the front features a small photo of people crossing the Brooklyn Bridge. I'm assuming in 1869. And I'm assuming it's because they had a cravin' for some cel-ray soda. It's interesting to note that it is actually made with celery seeds. Not like the peanut butter soda that blatantly lied to my face and tasted like sugary peanut water. I'm not gonna lie - I'm pretty excited to try this one.





Smell/First Sip:
I take a whiff and the two things I smell are sugar and very very faintly, celery. I don't know if this is my mind
playing tricks on me because I have celery on the brain, but it definitely had a mild celery smell. I've never typed the word "celery" this many times in one sitting in my life. Brace yourself Jewish Champagne, I'm going in. (sips). That's...interesting. It's heavily carbonated, and you can feel the bubbles on the way down your throat. I DO taste celery, and it's not an overly sweet flavor mixed in. I guess the best way to explain it would be if you blended ginger ale with celery and then took out half the sugar. Shalom!

Drinkability/Overall:
One of my favorite Gatorade flavors is Cucumber-Lime because there's a fresh vegetable hint mixed in with the fruity flavor. It's really refreshing. The same can be said for Cel-Ray Soda. It's fresh, has a hint of celery that's not overpowering, and it works as a soda. This might be my favorite (read: only good one ever) beverage I've tried on the Soda Shack thus far. So...yea...not a very funny review I guess, but thanks Dr. Brown!

                                                            "You're welcome, Matt."