Crystal Pepsi (2016)

It's back! But was it ever really missed? The answer is...kinda. Like Surge, Crystal Pepsi has always had a cult following and the demand to see it again has always been pretty big. However, it was a bit of a flop when it was first introduced and Pepsi was fine with closing the vault on the experiment forever back in the 90s. It was unlikely for years that we'd ever see it again. And again, just like Surge, it was due to the outcry of like-minded nostalgia demand, led mainly by YouTube celebrity, the LA Beast, that got this item back on the shelves...for a limited time at least. Before giving my tongue another 90s bath, let's hit the interwebs for a brief history lesson on Crystal Pepsi.

That concert would have been pretty sweet!

While my nostalgia for Surge and Ecto Cooler remains solid because of what a huge part of my childhood and early teen years involved sucking it down like life support, Crystal Pepsi not only came around when I was younger (around 9), but it also lasted so briefly that it didn't put as big of a dent in my memory over time. I remember it existing, and I remember enjoying it (I think), but it came and went in a little more than a year. Pepsi experimented with their "caffeine free alternative" to Pepsi in select markets in early 1992 and it proved to be a hit. They rolled out complete production in 1993 and marketed it with stale headbangers Van Halen and stale impressionist Billy Crystal, who I guess were the hippest people in the go-go 90s.

Remember that Van Halen song, "Right Now?"
REMEMBER???? Me neither. 

Coca Cola tried to counteract the new clear soda craze with...Tab Clear. Which led every Generation Xer at the time to...not give a good god damn; most people were surprised that Tab was still around (and it STILL is today! and it STILL sucks!) And even with initial success, sales dropped rapidly for Crystal Pepsi as most people who like clear sodas realized they could just drink a Sprite, and most people who liked Pepsi, liked caffeine and so no point in drinking Pepsi without the magic wake-up dust. There was just no market for it, and by 1994, the stock was completely cleared out and it became nothing but an urban legend around the Pog tables and Roller rinks for nearly two decades. 

Interestingly enough, as nostalgia grew, and websites like eBay made vintage, unopened sodas a fun hunt for collectors, they began to surface online with a dark, muddy texture in their unopened bottles. Apparently, whatever magic turned Crystal Pepsi clear eventually wears off. Just like Poo-Be-Gone (Most obscure reference from most obscure movie ever). And as more and more of my generation decided to screw college and become internet reviewers and website stunt-boys, the legend grew and grew and the demand became overwhelmingly large. It made an extremely limited online only release around Christmas of last year, but was finally made available to the masses in August of this year. However, don't rest on your laurels and assume it'll always be around like Tab Clear (stupid), it's only around for an eight week release, which as of this writing means there's only four weeks left. I stocked up on enough to last the zombie apocalypse, but this may be the last time I'll ever taste a NEW Crystal Pepsi in my lifetime. So...is it worth it?

I crack it open and the fizz and carbonation dances around in the plastic bottle, probably listening to some Counting Crows songs. And the smell is so much like Pepsi but...not. It's interesting to note too that the new release does have caffeine unlike the original. Alright, I've waited 22 years for this, let's have a sip. 

Hmmm....It's definitely a Pepsi, but, for lack of a better explanation, it's Pepsi with a clear taste. It's as if you took a Sierra Mist, took out the lemon and lime flavoring, and shot it up with Pepsi instead. It's very bubbly and the aftertaste is almost that of seltzer water. I would say the nostalgia factor is a 10/10, but if I had to just go on taste alone, it's inferior to just a regular Pepsi. It's fun. It reminds me of watching X-Men cartoons and creeping out girls in elementary school, but it's not going to change my life or cure world hunger. Overall, a tasty treat that makes the rarity of it that much more enjoyable.

Okay, well my fridge is literally 75% weird sodas at this point, and I can't fit any real food in there, so I'm going to try and do these things on more of a regular basis. Hope you enjoyed how awesome I am. 

MAYrathon Day 22: Boots Beverages: Dewberry Soda

Now where did I leave off with Boots Beverages? Ah yes - I had reviewed their Red Hot soda but was so tired and jaded from two days worth of cinnamon soda, that I didn't really put much care into that review. But I knew I'd revisit Boots Soda at some point because I had another flavor waiting in the wings: Dewberry Soda. Now before I get into exploring what the hell a dewberry is, let's talk briefly about Boots Beverages. Originating from the small town of Bellville, Texas, Boots beverages has adopted the Jones soda approach of affixing each of their bottles with unique and original photos. Boots, however, takes it one step beyond and offers a picture and a story about a local Bellville

resident. It's creative I guess, but I really don't care about some goobstick named Mark and how he's been collecting cans since he was five years old. If I read more and exercises more, I wouldn't be doing this dumb website, idiots. Boots has a few other flavors I'd be interested in checking out some day including Caramel Cola, Coconut, and Caramel Apple. But it was Dewberry that caught my attention the most at the store. As I've stated before, I'm most interested in the flavors I've never tried before. It's also interesting to note that since I picked this up about three weeks ago, It's been on a permanent carbonation overload. Like the pink slime form Ghostbusters 2.

So here's a dewberry. There's actually not a ton of information about this fruit, but it is a member of the blackberry family and the fruit grows so far to the ground and is so small that people often mistake them for nuisance weed, That and the fact that it is nearly impossible to pick them without instantly splattering the fruit and ruining your white pants is probably why it's one of the lesser known North American fruits. Also interesting to note, I guess, is that they produce both male and female fruit. As of most sodas I try, there's never been anything remotely close to a fruit to ever grace the carbonated concoction, but let's see what a dewberry is at least SUPPOSED to taste like.

The smell is very unique yet overwhelmingly familiar. I wish I had better than a fourth grade vocabulary to define it. It's comparable to blackberry jam or maybe even black cherry Kool Aid. I don't know exactly, but my olfactory memory is going crazy.

Yes, that's what it is - Black Cherry Kool Aid. Growing up, that was my dad's favorite Kool Aid flavor, so I have distinct memories of drinking it as a kid. Given that the carbonation was trying to escape since its inception, it's quite flat which also brings forth the flavor of a kool aid as well. A nice 90s flashback resulting from an unknown flavor. And no seafood either, so BONUS!