Monday, September 16, 2013

Tummy Tickler: Smilin' Wolverine Head



Tummy Tickler Wolverine Apple Juice. 100% Healthy. 100% Fun. 100% NOT a good childhood role model! I mean seriously, of all the mascots the good folks at Tummy Tickler could pick to represent their wholesome childhood product, they choose Wolverine? You know what Wolverine is the best at? If you guessed beating super villains to a bloody pulp and being bloodier on an average Wednesday than John McClane in every "Die Hard" movie combined...then give yourself a bell. Just look at the image to the left. What person thought this guy should be smiling on top of a children's juice with a straw on his dumb head so children can suck away at his bloody brain knowledge? Let me read the label more here: "Apple Juice Concentrate from China." Figures.

Appearance:
To be fair, Tummy Tickler is not an exclusive Wolverine product. The company is well known for sticking a plastic straw through the heads of whatever cartoon is popular today ranging from Dora to Winnie the Pooh to Alfonso Ribeiro. It's cute. It's cheap. And like Pez Dispensers or Cracker Jacks, it gives kids a keepsake to go with their food or drink. This one claims to be 100% juice, equivalent to 3/4 a cup of fruit (good?) and weighs in at a whopping 6 oz. I'd need about six of these to quench my thirst, but then again, I'm not the target audience.

Smell/First Sip/Drinkability:
It Smells like F#(%*% Apple Juice
It Tastes like F#(%*% Apple Juice
Drinkability is F#(%*% Apple Juice




Overall:
I'm 25 years older than the target market for this product, but it was fun drinking from Wolverine's murder hole. You can always count on China to be good with the moral decisions for our youth; it's only a matter of time before they come out with Hello Kitty Beer...


Dammit China...

Sunday, September 8, 2013